• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 67 subscribers
  • Views 3093 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Just don't know what to do :-(

Oresteia

Hello, 

My daughter (11) started senior school this Sept & although she's been doing largely ok at school the situation at home has massively deteriorated & I'm just feeling overwhelmed :-(

She's SO stressed, so sensory seeking & being so challenging. Every morning & every evening I am having to wash, dry, dress her, do her teeth etc , despite her being 11 & 1/2. She's COMPLETELY distracted & if left along in the bathroom just dances this rhythm kind of shuffle on the tiles, or doodles in the steam on the mirror or sits on the toilet frantically swinging her legs "listening to the shower" or twists the towel round & round or chews it etc. She never actually gets washed or even turns the tap on, & once I turn it on she doesn't think to turn it off.

She's absolutely going under from homework & will spend hours on every teeny tiny detail (Cleopatra's kin tone had to be just right & a Tudor mans, ruff & buttons were perfect) but we haven't even written the first question! She HATES starting, gets completely lost & distracted & can't focus or see the big picture. Last week she just lost it & elbowed me, kicked the chairs etc. 

Today we went tramoplining but she started crying & shouting & wanted to come home. Later she met up with a friend's son on a Minecraft serve but got so angry & changed HIS room to her decoration & was talking to him like he was an absolute idiot for basically not doing things how SHE would've done them & I had to intervene & she got SO angry & completely rigid & couldn't see a thing wrong.

Will she ever be able to wash herself & dress herself. Couple of people have said "Oh leave her & she'll soon to do it if you don't" or "leave her & she'll soon wash her hair" etc but she doesn't!! I just don't think they get it.

She's very bright academically but can't wash herself or seem to function at all with personal care or social things. :-( I just desperately want her to be more settled & more balanced.  

Sorry to moan. I feel really lonely today. I work part time & someone said they bet it's nice having a ly in etc & I'm thinking I don't EVER have a ly in I have to get her washed & dressed & drive her to the school gates or she'd never go!!!!! 

Parents

  • Hello, 

    Thanks for the support. Yes she has a diagnosis (aged 4) & she has an EHCP (& was formerly statemented) but new school seem to think that because she's not causing them any difficulties at school that it's all fine & she doesn't need any support ???/!! Time & time again though she tries to hold it all together & APPEARS to be fine then explodes or implodes & everyone seems so surprised as she "was doing so well" but sadly it's a very predictable cycle - ever since nursery.

    Our wait for CAMHS is around 18mths in our local area. She's had support from them twice before when younger & they were great but their threshold now is so much higher & they only assist if she's at risk (e.g. suicide or self harm).  

Reply

  • Hello, 

    Thanks for the support. Yes she has a diagnosis (aged 4) & she has an EHCP (& was formerly statemented) but new school seem to think that because she's not causing them any difficulties at school that it's all fine & she doesn't need any support ???/!! Time & time again though she tries to hold it all together & APPEARS to be fine then explodes or implodes & everyone seems so surprised as she "was doing so well" but sadly it's a very predictable cycle - ever since nursery.

    Our wait for CAMHS is around 18mths in our local area. She's had support from them twice before when younger & they were great but their threshold now is so much higher & they only assist if she's at risk (e.g. suicide or self harm).  

Children
No Data