Hi
I am new to this but wondered if anybody out there could give me any encouragement on how to cope with my son. We have always known there was a problem and he was diagnosed with Aspergers, Dyspraxia and ADHD at the age of 8. School were on the whole great but our biggest problem has been lack of support and understanding from both sides of the extended family. This has led to a great deal of hurt and we feel we have been dealing with the situation alone for so long now. My husband had a nervous breakdown and I have been treated for depression for many years now. My son is now in his mid twenties and it doesn't feel any easier. The only light at the end of the tunnel is that I have recently discovered a disorder called PDA (pathological demand avoidance). This is significant as the previous diagnosis at the age of 8 just didn't seem right and didn't really help us in understanding our son. The diagnosis of Aspergers seemed especially incorrect as he seems to have so much social awareness. For this reason, it was always difficult to discuss the diagnosis with him and we failed to do this when he was younger. As he has grown older and problems have escalated, I have tried to raise the diagnosis with him, thinking it might help if he were to become involved in a local support group for young people, but he always gets really agitated and tells me that if I am going to tell him he is autistic, that will be 'it', he won't be able to survive. However, now that I have found what seems to fit him so perfectly (PDA) I really feel it will help him to understand himself and manage his anxieties better if he knows. What should I do? How do I tell him? Should I tell him?
