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Which way now?!

xxsweetpeaxx

Hi All,

My daughter was diagnosed as autistic last week after years of tests & appointments. She has been in the system since age four, diagnosed with ADHD at seven, and then it went wrong. We moved house from city to county, the dr she had went on long term sick leave, the new doctor discharged us, then the next doctor started the process from the begining again!  Aged 12 she is finally diagnosed again.

However she is in mainstream school - not eligible for a statement, but has such terrible social skills she is constantly bullied - currently has a black eye from being punched two weeks ago, and has no friends. The doctor has said he is going to refer her to autism outreach, and suggested I join this site, but I would like her in a school where she can be herself without fear of ridicule, with kids that are the same as her - surely that's not too much to ask? Does anyone know of cases where the child has gone to special school without a statement? I just can't see the school she is at is going to make her happy, they can put lots of things in place but they can't change the children that she is there with. I feel we have wasted so much time besystem how things worked out, so feel it's vital to be able to ensure the rest of her time at school is productive but more importantly happy.

I would really appreciate any thoughts on this.

Also a couple of years ago I applied for dla for her so that she could go to a special club for adhd kids but it was expensive, and they said I should be using her dla to pay for it, I explaineit's he didn't have it and they were shocked & said I should apply. Anyway we were turned down, and I didn't appeal. With this new diagnosis would she be eligible now?

Many thanks

Pea, x

Parents

  • Hi Sazale,

    I have had a good read through the documents, and looked on the ipsea page aswell - I still don't see where I could say that according to the criteria my daughter would qualify? Well I mean I couldn't find a bit that said I could apply for non acedemic issues? Educationally I am sure every parent hopes their child does well, but if a child is achieving then I am unsure where the special educational need is? If a child just wasn't very bright but had no associated condition they wouldn't get a statement either. So if the condition my child has does not stop her learning surely she won't get one either?

    My concern is the social / emotional side of things - its all very well that the agencies state that children should be mainstream schooled, but I don't think it takes into consideration how difficult life can be for the children, trying hard to be 'normal', interacting with 'normal' kids, and not having true friends. I would like my daughter to be in an environment with other kids similar to her, where she isn't constantly trying to fit in. But that's not going to happen without a statement - but educationally she's ok - she does better than some kids who have nothing wrong, but of course she could do better! 

    If I look at the statistics for the local aspergers / autism school, 0% got level 4 in exams, only 10% got any kind of qualification - but they had a great time, and leave with happy memories and well prepared for the life ahead. So what's the pay off? If she goes special school the odds are high she won't leave with any formal qualification but she will be happy, or keep her miserable in mainstream but will probably educationally achieve more??

    I don't think she has a special educational need above anyone else, but I do believe she has a special emotional and social need - that could eventually ( doesn't right now) affect her education. Which depends on whether she copes the older she gets - so are we supposed to wait till it goes monumentally wrong or take a preventative stance?

    Pea, x

Reply

  • Hi Sazale,

    I have had a good read through the documents, and looked on the ipsea page aswell - I still don't see where I could say that according to the criteria my daughter would qualify? Well I mean I couldn't find a bit that said I could apply for non acedemic issues? Educationally I am sure every parent hopes their child does well, but if a child is achieving then I am unsure where the special educational need is? If a child just wasn't very bright but had no associated condition they wouldn't get a statement either. So if the condition my child has does not stop her learning surely she won't get one either?

    My concern is the social / emotional side of things - its all very well that the agencies state that children should be mainstream schooled, but I don't think it takes into consideration how difficult life can be for the children, trying hard to be 'normal', interacting with 'normal' kids, and not having true friends. I would like my daughter to be in an environment with other kids similar to her, where she isn't constantly trying to fit in. But that's not going to happen without a statement - but educationally she's ok - she does better than some kids who have nothing wrong, but of course she could do better! 

    If I look at the statistics for the local aspergers / autism school, 0% got level 4 in exams, only 10% got any kind of qualification - but they had a great time, and leave with happy memories and well prepared for the life ahead. So what's the pay off? If she goes special school the odds are high she won't leave with any formal qualification but she will be happy, or keep her miserable in mainstream but will probably educationally achieve more??

    I don't think she has a special educational need above anyone else, but I do believe she has a special emotional and social need - that could eventually ( doesn't right now) affect her education. Which depends on whether she copes the older she gets - so are we supposed to wait till it goes monumentally wrong or take a preventative stance?

    Pea, x

Children
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