Where do we go from here?

My boy is 14 and deliberately cut his arm for first time last night with a knife. Stayed at hospital last night see here waiting for visit from cams this afternoon. I've been trying get appointment with school last two weeks to sort out issues there think will be able to sort that now with all this happening. What I feel is biggest problem from my perspective is his very addicted to social media and technology and it's become impossible to monitor because he demands privacy and sets passwords. I want to respect that but fear negative influences coming from there. If I ban the technology he now has harmed himself. I find it difficult to always remain calm as feel if I don't give in all the time he will do this. Also I feel he distorts things e.g. how I have reacted to his behaviour or that of his teachers. How can I connect more positively? how can I put boundaries in? How can I help him see other perspectives to help bridge the gap between him and others so that he doesn't suffer such strong overwhelming negative emotions? Please help.

Parents
  • Thank you sincerely for your insight. Its been very helpful. My son very much likes to feel in control and responds severley to feedback feeling his being picked on. I have spoken to the school about the issues his raised and suggestions on increasing clarity and building more positive trusting relationships. 

    As a parent my primary goal is to keep my son safe and worry when I don't know what his doing online. I can see however he does have a need for privacy and is well versed in online safety. Perhaps an area I need to back off a bit to let him feel more in control. 

    Thank you again, I'm hoping after a nightmare week that at least the school and I have come out with a better awareness of how to support my son better.

Reply
  • Thank you sincerely for your insight. Its been very helpful. My son very much likes to feel in control and responds severley to feedback feeling his being picked on. I have spoken to the school about the issues his raised and suggestions on increasing clarity and building more positive trusting relationships. 

    As a parent my primary goal is to keep my son safe and worry when I don't know what his doing online. I can see however he does have a need for privacy and is well versed in online safety. Perhaps an area I need to back off a bit to let him feel more in control. 

    Thank you again, I'm hoping after a nightmare week that at least the school and I have come out with a better awareness of how to support my son better.

Children
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