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PLEASE HELP

SHD28

My nephew is 5 and is ASD, and very violent and aggressive. He hits, bites, punches and scratches my son who is 3 CONSTANTLY. It's really starting to get me down that each time we visit, I know my son is going to be hurt. It makes me not want to let them play together anymore, but my hubby feels guilty as this would really upset his sister (she tries her best to control her son but nothing works). I need some advice on what to do, as I can't carry on seeing my child being abused.

  • Your nephew is likely expressing fear/anxiety. He might not know how to react to your son properly. He's frustrated and the aggression is how he expresses what he is feeling. Aggressive 'challenging' behaviour isn't uncommon, but neither is it unique to ASD,  as many kids even at that age are challenging and worryingly aggressive in their behaviour. Most do grow out of it around Nursery/primary school age.  

    Maybe your son is noisy? Maybe your nephew doesn't like 'invaders' into his home. He doesn't like this disruption. I am not putting blame anywhere, just trying to explain what underlying reasons might be, and reinforce that it is highly doubtful it is malicious in intent. Your son is younger and likely quite bubbly? Perhaps it is just too much for your nephew to cope with.

    Don't feel bad. I can tell you aren't blaming your nephew or sister-in-law, and you are just having to protect your own child from physical harm.

    Below is the NAS information page on this specific type of challenging behaviour associated with ASD. Maybe you should discuss it with your sister-in-law and see what you all can do to support her in working to help your nephew. As always, if possible, perhaps seek specialist for children with ASD who sometimes run low-cost/free sessions in different areas.  

    I would just like to reiterate that I am only relaying what I have discovered through my own research. I thoroughly encourage you to do your own independent research and make your own conclusions as you know your nephew better.  I am ust someone who is waiting for her own ASD assessment as an adult - and I have done a lot of research on it for my own interests. 

    www.autism.org.uk/.../physical.aspx

    Best wishes to you and your family.