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Aggressive ASD Teenager, Struggling Family. Please Help.

ConceredSibling

Hello,

I don’t really know where to begin, but me and my family desperately need some help and support with our current situation, and I was wondering if anyone is going through a similar problem or if you’ve been through it and managed to overcome it.

To try and keep this short, I’ll be brief. My little brother has just turned 14, he has high functioning autism with mild to moderate learning difficulties and severe behavioural problems, and he also has suspected OCD.

The last year has been an absolute nightmare for our family, especially considering going through puberty. My mum has been home-schooling my brother for the last four years, as one of the teachers at his previous special school was abusive towards him because they couldn’t cope with his behaviour. As you can imagine this has put a lot of strain on her and is finding it very hard to look after him any longer, he has become overly aggressive and controlling of my mum, and it’s just them two at home so it is also very frightening. (He loses complete control in one of these episodes and doesn’t think twice before lashing out/throwing things at my mother or whoever else is there at the time). He’s also a lot taller and stronger than her.

The police have had to be called out numerous times where he has had an aggressive outburst, which led my mum to getting a social worker. Finally we thought we had some help but since then things have just got worse. Well, they’ve been up and down. He’s finally been to see Camhs who have prescribed him with antidepressants for his anxiety and suspected OCD which seems to have taken the edge off but he is still aggressive. They’ve also got funding for the intervention team who started taking him out 5 days a week to work on his behaviour, but they are doing way too much at once with him and he comes home and takes everything out on my mum so she’s on the verge of stopping that. So now, we’re just at a bit of a loss of what to do? He needs help but the services that are being provided aren’t working for us.

Although we never ever wanted him to go into residential, my mum has questioned it because of how tough this situation is, but the social worker is saying that there isn’t any where to put him, so it’s like we’re stuck in a rut, and there doesn’t seem to be a way out.

Is there anything that you could recommend? Any help would be greatly appreciated. 

Parents

  • I also had the same problem that began from the age of 12 with my son he is now 14 yrs old , his anger was extremely bad and his outbursts became a problem , I got social services involved and this only fused the situation he refused to go to school and wouldn't leave the home . It is only now I am beginning to understand why these outbursts and he is becoming more open with me ,  it has taken all this time for him to process and understand what is happening to him , you see if he is constantly being in a situation where he feels threatened like going school , coming home ect then his mind don't have time to process other things so his anger builds up instead because no one understands him . The frustrations that he feels are so overwhelming that he explodes . Now if he is given time to have a safe place and feel safe then he can begin to process other things what's going on . My son knew he didn't like to be touched but he didn't know why , it's only now that he can tell me that when he is touched or if someone brushes past him it feels like needles , before he couldn't process it so he just became angry .. do you understand what I'm trying to say ...help you children to build a safe place,  like a room in the house where they feel they can go , it's just their safe place but let them decide on how they would like it with your guidance of course . 

Reply

  • I also had the same problem that began from the age of 12 with my son he is now 14 yrs old , his anger was extremely bad and his outbursts became a problem , I got social services involved and this only fused the situation he refused to go to school and wouldn't leave the home . It is only now I am beginning to understand why these outbursts and he is becoming more open with me ,  it has taken all this time for him to process and understand what is happening to him , you see if he is constantly being in a situation where he feels threatened like going school , coming home ect then his mind don't have time to process other things so his anger builds up instead because no one understands him . The frustrations that he feels are so overwhelming that he explodes . Now if he is given time to have a safe place and feel safe then he can begin to process other things what's going on . My son knew he didn't like to be touched but he didn't know why , it's only now that he can tell me that when he is touched or if someone brushes past him it feels like needles , before he couldn't process it so he just became angry .. do you understand what I'm trying to say ...help you children to build a safe place,  like a room in the house where they feel they can go , it's just their safe place but let them decide on how they would like it with your guidance of course . 

Children
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