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Anxiety?

ginger_gnome

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post ... apologies if I'm doing it all wrong :-(

I'm so so worried about my son (11) ... he was diagnosed with Aspergers (probably when he was about 6) and discharged by CAMHS about 18 months ago who felt he had no mental health issues although I didn't agree with their assessment.  He is reluctant to go out anywhere in case he meets anyone he knows and always wears a disguise (usually a hood up to hide his hair and sunglasses) ... he does like being out, just worries about it ... the only place where he feels totally at peace is by the water, clambering about in rocks, crawling in the sand and, of course paddling fully clothed :-). 

Anyway, over the past few months he's developed an obsession with confessing and apologising for things ... even things that happened months/years ago.  He will talk to me about it, check I'm not cross, check again then go through it all again, then come back to me to tell me he told his dad (or the other way round).  He struggles getting to sleep because of it and has now decided he can't sleep alone (only five months ago we remodelled the upstairs of our house to make three bedrooms into four so that he and his brothers could each have their own space).  He has a worry monster which worked for a while but he's now scared of it so we've had to put it away. 

Any advice or words of wisdom really appreciated ... it's so awful seeing him so worried.

Parents

  • Thank you, that's ever so helpful.  I've noticed that he gets agitated if we dont tell him straight away that we're not angry ... I guess part of that is down to him struggling to read facial expressions.  Last night he asked his dad (after a confession) if he was angry ... my hubby joked about it and wouldn't say yes or no ... he wasn't deliberately being unkind, that's not how he is at all but our lad couldn't cope with it and dad then reassured him.  The more I learn and observe in my son the more convinced I am that I am autistic also ... I've not been diagnosed and unsure whether to but it's been a relief to begin to understand myself.  My lad is the middle of three (his older brother has autism too) but I often feel that Son No2 is the one I connect with most and find easiest to deal with. 

    I can't remember if I said in my original post that he's moving to secondary school this year which I think is a huge worry for him ... he's not admitting his anxiety with regard to the move but change of any kind is hard for him.  I really like the idea of putting his anxiety down on paper ... off to have a chat with him now.  Thanks again. 

Reply

  • Thank you, that's ever so helpful.  I've noticed that he gets agitated if we dont tell him straight away that we're not angry ... I guess part of that is down to him struggling to read facial expressions.  Last night he asked his dad (after a confession) if he was angry ... my hubby joked about it and wouldn't say yes or no ... he wasn't deliberately being unkind, that's not how he is at all but our lad couldn't cope with it and dad then reassured him.  The more I learn and observe in my son the more convinced I am that I am autistic also ... I've not been diagnosed and unsure whether to but it's been a relief to begin to understand myself.  My lad is the middle of three (his older brother has autism too) but I often feel that Son No2 is the one I connect with most and find easiest to deal with. 

    I can't remember if I said in my original post that he's moving to secondary school this year which I think is a huge worry for him ... he's not admitting his anxiety with regard to the move but change of any kind is hard for him.  I really like the idea of putting his anxiety down on paper ... off to have a chat with him now.  Thanks again. 

Children
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