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Distruction from anxiety

purplestar

Hi

Can anyone give me some advice on dealing with a teenager who breaks things from frustration.  This is happening more and more and I am worrying where it will end.  Today he has ripped the keys from the keyboard off the laptop because of slow wi-fi connection.  It is becoming an everyday occurance for house hold items to be smashed and thrown.  It is difficult to 'discipline' as this causes further stress for him.

 

son is 14 and diagnoised last week with aspergers, - this is my first post

thanks

Parents

  • My own theory, as I cannot find any literature to endorse it, is to think of instantaneous events like this as "last straw", but if there's a better explanation around someone else please chip in.

    It is easy to draw the conclusion that the violent reaction is entirely related to the immediate source of frustration, which is the trigger but not the sole cause.

    You probably have bad days when everything goes wrong and you finally crack over something trivial. With AS this state is reached sooner and more often, because of the accumulated stresses and less capacity to cope.

    So it may  be worth giving him a chance to talk through his day, to see if there are things you could do to take the pressure off. They could be things he otherwise gives you no clue about, like things said by peers at school that play on his mind, or run ins with his teacher, or things he's trying to do that aren't working out.

    If there's a way of solving things that are easily resolved by talking through them that might reduce the pressure through the day and make the outbursts less frequent. 

    Hope that helps. As I say its my theory so cannot guarantee results. Its just what seems best to explain my own experiences.

Reply

  • My own theory, as I cannot find any literature to endorse it, is to think of instantaneous events like this as "last straw", but if there's a better explanation around someone else please chip in.

    It is easy to draw the conclusion that the violent reaction is entirely related to the immediate source of frustration, which is the trigger but not the sole cause.

    You probably have bad days when everything goes wrong and you finally crack over something trivial. With AS this state is reached sooner and more often, because of the accumulated stresses and less capacity to cope.

    So it may  be worth giving him a chance to talk through his day, to see if there are things you could do to take the pressure off. They could be things he otherwise gives you no clue about, like things said by peers at school that play on his mind, or run ins with his teacher, or things he's trying to do that aren't working out.

    If there's a way of solving things that are easily resolved by talking through them that might reduce the pressure through the day and make the outbursts less frequent. 

    Hope that helps. As I say its my theory so cannot guarantee results. Its just what seems best to explain my own experiences.

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