Caring for a Aspergers teen and managing a job

my son is  he was nearly 18 now, but he was diagnosed when he was 13 with anxiety via CAMHS, had mild depression, but that responded. Has had a number of sessions with CPN since. He and we have seen the consultant several times since, and he had support via  pastoral support at  school when he was younger, and as his understanding and ours has developed we have all adapted. He still gets anxiety etc, but he and we know now what the signs are and how to manage them.

What helped, getting a meeting with school with the SENCO, to ask what they are doing about it to help your daughter, is their specialist teacher support they can buy in to assess/support your daughter, they are required to assess her health and education needs, request an educational  pyschologist assessment, register as a carer with your local council and your GP,  join your local carers support group, local autism support group, if you feel anxious etc then go and see your  gp to talk things over, get some time off, local disabled kids groups, there are in some areas, Sibs support groups etc, don't take no for an answer, get informed, know your rights and your daughters.

Hi I am new to this forum too.  My 16 yr old DD is going through a very similar time. She has been attending CAMHS for 3 years due to social anxiety and struggles with school, we are in the process of getting her assessed for ASD. She has panic attacks in school too and has just returned after 2 weeks off. We have decided to keep her off school 1 day a week to help her to deal with the stress and the school have agreed to this. She is doing her GCSEs so she has a lot of assessments etc.

I have really been questioning whether to give up  work too, although they have been supportive I feel like I am constantly having to take time off for appointments and when she is not fit to go in. Like you I am feeling guilty and anxious about it as I don't want to leave her alone in the house.I enjoy work and don't want to leave either. You are not alone in this struggle Reo, I am just trying to not get too caught up in the long term and just focus on getting through this term for the time being.

I have contacted my local parents advice centre who have offered me counselling, I don't know it that might be helpful for you? I think it is important to look after our own health too so we can look after our kids.

Hi

I too am new to this forum and have a 19 year old daughter on the autistic spectrum.  I have been through a very similar situation to yours.  The thing that helped us was for her to get more support at school. She may be able to be assessed to see if she can get any extra time or help with exams, for example sitting on her own to do the exam.

I used to find that occasional time off school, away from the stressful social and academic situation did seem to reduce her stress and she felt more able to cope once she got back...but this may not be the right solution for everyone and we only did this until she was able to get more support in place.  Also CAHMs were very helpful as somewhere she could go to talk about all her issues.

It is a tough thing to juggle.  I wish you all the best.

Thanks for responding. I love my job and they too are very supportive. I think my concern is that my daughter has become more and more needy and often finds it difficult to attend six form. On these days she is in a dark place and I fear leaving her at home alone......which means I end up taking time off of work. Then I feel guilty for letting my colleagues down and my anxiety starts to build up. I guess my thoughts around leaving my job are driven by my anxiety and not knowing how best to juggle her needs with my working life. 

Hi Reo,

I too am new to this forum and am a parent of a daughter with Aspergers. She is 18 and I recognise the issues your daughter experiences and that you are wrestling with.

They are certainly compounded by the needs of your younger children. Work is difficult as  most of us need to work to pay bills, you haven't asked a specific question, unless I've been a complete numpty and haven't seen your full post !!! 

The best advise we received was to ensure that you look after yourself, you need to be at your best to support your family. Your time and your space if you can achieve that (difficult I know) are important. For me work has been extremely supportive and at times a welcome retreat, the 8 hours there allowing me to think about something completely different and escape the stresses at home.

You need to recharge yourself (an evening out or time spent doing something you enjoy), you should not feel guilty for that..

Mck.