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Recent assessment - new to this

Brightbird

Hi everyone.

I'm so relieved to have found this forum.  Recently my 3.5 year old son was assessed by the speech and language team, and two days ago they confirmed they believe he has ASD.

Although I had my suspicions, I'm still in a state of disbelief and great sadness for my gorgeous, funny and kind little boy.  Since this last meeting, through several discussions with my husband, he has admitted that he believes he may be on the spectrum too.

We are now struggling to know what to do next.  My husband feels very strongly that he doesn't want our son to get a diagnosis because of the stigmas attached to a diagnosis and because at the moment our son is a happy little boy.  

I, however, am worried about him starting school and missing out on help that he needs in the future to get the best out of life.  I want to support him as much as possible and can see that he does need extra support in certain areas in regards to comprehending verbal information.

Has anyone else experienced differences of opinions to their spouse about diagnosis?  How did you resolve the differences?

Also, for a very high functioning child, how useful was the diagnosis? Or did you decide not to?

At the moment we have been pretty much left to get on with things, so any advice or input would be very appreciated!

Many thanks

  • Hi Oresteia

    Thanks for your response - you've clarified exactly why I'd like to get a diagnosis for my son.  Now that I've had time to think more about it, I feel much more positive for my gorgeous boy.  It's strange how much of a shock the diagnosis was even though I had an idea for quite some time!

    Thanks again for your support- I'm glad to know your daughter is doing well


  • Hello Brightbird,

    We suspected ASD prior to starting school aged 4 BUT initially decided not to mention it when she first started school, worrying a little about labels etc at such a young age, maybe hoping she'd grow out of it or that we were wrong or that it would change as she too was very bright. By Jan (started in Sept) however she had the diagnosis & for us personally it has been nothing but positive, 100%. 

    "how useful was the diagnosis? Or did you decide not to?"  - Initially I almost grieved & felt very up & down but I can look back now & say for our whole family it's been almost essential. Once we had the diagnosis we could also pursue a statement (now an education & health care plan) for school to ensure our daughter received the support, understanding, time & practical interventions that she needed.

    HIgh functioning or not anyone with a diagnosis will face challenges & we found that the diagnosis opened many many doors, gave us access to support & helped across the board. Very often the "stigma" you mentioned is due to the behaviours NOT the diagnosis & the behaviours & traits that led you to seek help will continue, whether it is named or not. Once we had a diagnosis we could get more information, be better informed & help her more contructively. We have found that her well being has been helped (she's now 10) by acceptance & knowing & exploring why she does / feels a certain way.

     That's just our personal experience.

    Best wishes with whatever you decide