where do i start...

We brought our little tinker a large paddling pool today- Daddy is off work this week so we are having lovely quality family time . We had planned to go out but so hot we didnt fancy a long car trip so brought the paddling pool instead.

We have had a delightful afternoon of water fights and splashing... and discovered to our cost that our little tinker has a wonderful aim with the hose pipe we were using to fill the pool...She managed an element of surprise with each attack as well lol. We all spent much of the afternoon laughing and shrieking.

I hope everyone's day has been as wonderful and joyful.

tml12 said:

I survived the hungry lions!

Yay!

I survived the hungry lions!

Hello Pixiefox thank you for the reply and kind words.

In answer to your question regarding my daughter and her diagnosis. She was on target or ahead on all of her milestones developmentally until she failed to learn to speak- her speach delay is primarily what highlighted her autism- followed by a health visitor feeling she just wasnt quite social enough. However she had had constant ear infections every other week for about 18 months by the point of diagnosis and natually this masked things a little- as well as contributed to some of her delay. She was a late walker at 18 months but that is the only other thing. Her eye contact was also poor but this was picked up later. So initally her speech delay was the main flag. She is still behind with speech but making fab progress now and is only a year or so behind. She is very bright and tends to learn very quickly - if taught as a visual leaner. She is highly observant and often teaches herself thigns that we have no idea she has seen much less watched.. I caught her trying to pick the shed padlock the other day because she wanted her bike and she knew you put something into turn and open so she tried a stick....she is very resourceful. She is also very social and loves pretend play now. She is incredibly affectionate and if presented with a room full or toys or a room full of people would always choose the people. She has the social want and does very well we support and teach where needed- although its often hard to judge what she would pick up on her own with time versus what she needs more help with as with her its quite subtle.

In regards to myself yes I have taken the test - I actually did it twice as wasnt sure if I was being too hard on myself or not seeing what I do find hard. I scored 29 the first time and 25 the second.

I would not be surprised if I am on the spectrum- as the more I have learned the more I seem to fit however I am not sure in my case whether it would help me or not to know and tend to err on the not.

I struggled with friends throughout school, from the day i started to the day I left being bullied both physically and mentally. I do not read people well- in that I cannot always see their true intentions of course that could be very much a case of believing the best of people which is how my partner would describe me. He also says I am too kind for my own good. I also tend to blow things up out of all perspective and can be very black and white in my thinking- of course this is also common with OCD which I am diagnosed with as well as anxiety. I no longer work as I stay home with my daughter - and between anxiety, OCD and Rheumatoid arthritis traditional work can be a challenge. I have had some roles which I have loved and done very well at but struggle with the pychological impact of pressure and targets and worrying that I am not good enough, or will disapoint so end up piling the pressure on myself until I cannot cope and end up suffering bouts of depression.

I also had a very tramatic birth with my daugther and suffered medical negligence resulting in PTSD.  So I guess for me I dont feel its very clear cut as I have several conditions which could be argued to overlap or indeed result in the way I think/act. I am also very unsure on pursuing it any further as I dont know what I personally feel it would achieve for me if that makes sense.

Thats interesting as thats probably a close reflection of what I feel as well. Its also interesting to consider how I would answer differently than someone observing me in a clinical setting or who knew me well. I wonder if in a clinical enviroment I would score more highly and with those those that knew me well less so. For example my mum thinks I make friends easily, and perhaps I do but it is actually managing those friendships and expections which is harder and something I am conscious of working at- of course this could be my anxiety/ocd as well which blurs the whole picture further. I equally think when it comes to our loved ones we see perhaps only what we want to see at times- I can certainly relate to that prior to my daughter's diagnosis these days I would say I have a fairly accurate picture and do check in with her professionals regular to make sure we are all in agreement.

Thank you for your comments they are very much appreciated and food for thought. I loved your Harry Potter Analogy- I think that is just perfect.

My little tinker has been struggling to sleep since it is so hot and wanted to come lay on our bed for a cuddle before announcing with delight that there were hungry lions "quick mummy hide!" so please forgive me if I am devoured by a hungry lion and not around to reply in the morning!!!

High 20s and the experiences you describe show that you have some of the traits of asperges. Muggles will normally score in the teens or even less. My wife scored 6.

People with a diagnosis will score more than 30 - usually. I scored 44 last time I checked.

So - my guess is that you sit on the spectrum somewhere between a muggle and an Aspie.

This may or may not help... it's just my thoughts.

Paul

Hi tml12 and welcome 

I'm a middle aged woman, who had no clue I could be on the Autistic spectrum until a few months ago. Your story intrigued me as it got me wondering whether I would have been diagnosed as a child if I had been born more recently. I was wondering what prompted your daughter's diagnosis? 

I too had a vivid imagination as a child - I had an imaginary friend before I started school. I was bright and learned very quickly. I loved books and was always two years ahead in reading. I never had a large group of friends, but always had one or two I could play with, and later talk to, although these changed over time as I changed schools or classes but this wasn't a problem. My teachers reported that I was a quiet well behaved member of the class and they seemed to like me. I always loved music and taught myself to play guitar at the age of 11. I fell in love with my partner at the age of 16 and we've been together ever since. I've had various jobs, including special needs teaching assistant, esol teacher and assistant accountant. I can plan and deliver training and presentations. My creative mind sometimes sees solutions others miss and I have great attention to detail. I've been described as a good teacher and a caring person. 

But...

I had anxiety issues from around 7 or 8 years old. I remember getting tummy aches when it was time to go to school. I rarely got invited to parties - I can only remember that happening 3 times, and the second and third times (when I was 10 and 13) I got so worked up thinking about it I made myself feel sick and didn't go. I found many of the other children difficult to relate to - I remember wondering at one point if they were all robots and I was the only human. At junior school I spent a lot of time in class sitting reading in a corner. At secondary school I was bullied by another girl for a while. When I went to sixth form college I became quite depressed and was on anti depressants for a short period of time. I've never stayed in the same job for more than a few years - I find it really difficult to deal with any sort of criticism and have been really upset by many managers and colleagues in the past. I'm a great conflict avoider, so I'll just remove myself from an uncomfortable situation. I've always got tired quickly when I'm around other people and I've always needed a lot of sleep. I have mild sensory issues - I'm very sensitive to cold, loud sudden noises and the size labels sewn into clothes (I have to cut them out)

My family never understood me. They tried to make me believe that I was being manipulated by my partner, but I gradually started to realise it was they who were manipulating me, or doing their best to even when I resisted.

I think you'll be a great parent to your daughter though - you are obviously very caring and dedicated. Have you taken the AQ test to see if you might be on the Autistic spectrum?  It's available online and is a reliable screening tool used by the medical profession as a starting point. I took it after watching a documentary which piqued my interest in autism and was very surprised at the result (I scored 40 out of 50).

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. 

All the best 

Pixie 

If she ever gets into Harry Potter you could go down the route that she has special abilities and 'normal' people are 'muggles' and as such they will not always understand her and her ways.

Something like that. I know I struggle with 'muggles' sometimes.

Paul

You're welcome tml12, and thank you for than comment Paul.

Thank you both. I could not agree more regarding how blessed I am- every day I wake up and think how lucky am I.  I just want to be the very best parent I can be and ensure I help and support her every step of the way- whilst also trying to remember to let her try her wings too!

I also want to make sure that when she comes to know her diagnosis she understands the many many strengths that this comes with and that every single person on the planet has areas that they are weaker at and that all of us are working on something regardless of whether or not we fall on a diagnostic spectrum.

lostmyway said:

tml12, there are many people on here who are much more knowledgeable and experienced than I about being on the AS, but I think what I would say is that you must nurture your little girl's gifts and personality because she is a unique individual that has a certain way of experiencing the word. I think the single most valuable thing you can do for your daughter is to bolster her self-esteem so that she grows up being able to make the most of her talents and in the process benefiting other people and society in general. 

You are blessed.

This says it better than I could have. I agree with every word.

tml12, there are many people on here who are much more knowledgeable and experienced than I about being on the AS, but I think what I would say is that you must nurture your little girl's gifts and personality because she is a unique individual that has a certain way of experiencing the word. I think the single most valuable thing you can do for your daughter is to bolster her self-esteem so that she grows up being able to make the most of her talents and in the process benefiting other people and society in general. 

You are blessed.

Thank you. She really is so much fun- a joy to be with- always wants to give everything a go. She had great fun earlier when we had a big water fight.

I just want to make sure I do everything possible to learn and help her and often feel like I am fumbling around in the dark.

Your daughter sounds absolutely brilliant!