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My son doesn't want to see me

AndySmith

Hi all,

I have a 11 year-old son. He's autistic. Myself & his mum got divorced years ago. There have been hardly any issues with my ex.

It hasn't been easy seeing my son as he isn't keen on moving from one house to another but overall things haven't been too bad.

I used to see him nearly every week.  For 10 years I phoned him regularly.  Lately he became more determined he didn't want to see me. This really upset me. 

I'm not perfect but I love him & try to do my best for him. 

I kept having discussions with his mum regarding this through emails & texts. His mum said our son didn't want to see me & that's the end of it.

I tried to persuade her that our son needs our help and that'll be good for him to maintain a good relationship with me.She said he talked to autism lady at school and expressed his feelings. 

She asked me to leave them alone and to come back in 6 months.  I tried to convince her that it would be better if we did something about it now by involving the professionals.

She blocked my number & reported me to the police.

I haven't seen nor spoken to my son for nearly 3 months.  I miss him.

Any suggestions anyone ?

Thank you.

Parents

  • I think socks's 3 suggestions are very wise. Your current approach will come across as not respecting your child's wishes, and even stronger than "may well", I would say it's guaranteed to make your situation worse, including the future prospects of a relationship with your child. I say this as the  of divorced parents, where one parent thought I should not have or express opinions and that they, by virtue of being a parent, were in the right.

    If you can contain your actions and communications now this may help in the longer term. Take a look at the AQ test then get some help - whether that help is for possible autism, or for coping with this situation that is causing you a lot of distress and, by virtue of your communications, is distressing to others.

    Much as the recent responses well be difficult to receive, I hope you can take steps from here to improve your situation.

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  • I think socks's 3 suggestions are very wise. Your current approach will come across as not respecting your child's wishes, and even stronger than "may well", I would say it's guaranteed to make your situation worse, including the future prospects of a relationship with your child. I say this as the  of divorced parents, where one parent thought I should not have or express opinions and that they, by virtue of being a parent, were in the right.

    If you can contain your actions and communications now this may help in the longer term. Take a look at the AQ test then get some help - whether that help is for possible autism, or for coping with this situation that is causing you a lot of distress and, by virtue of your communications, is distressing to others.

    Much as the recent responses well be difficult to receive, I hope you can take steps from here to improve your situation.

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