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My son doesn't want to see me

AndySmith

Hi all,

I have a 11 year-old son. He's autistic. Myself & his mum got divorced years ago. There have been hardly any issues with my ex.

It hasn't been easy seeing my son as he isn't keen on moving from one house to another but overall things haven't been too bad.

I used to see him nearly every week.  For 10 years I phoned him regularly.  Lately he became more determined he didn't want to see me. This really upset me. 

I'm not perfect but I love him & try to do my best for him. 

I kept having discussions with his mum regarding this through emails & texts. His mum said our son didn't want to see me & that's the end of it.

I tried to persuade her that our son needs our help and that'll be good for him to maintain a good relationship with me.She said he talked to autism lady at school and expressed his feelings. 

She asked me to leave them alone and to come back in 6 months.  I tried to convince her that it would be better if we did something about it now by involving the professionals.

She blocked my number & reported me to the police.

I haven't seen nor spoken to my son for nearly 3 months.  I miss him.

Any suggestions anyone ?

Thank you.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Gramit,

    Many thanks for sharing all of that. It sounds as though you have come out of it stronger and wiser which is not the common outcome for such disputes.

    I think we do come across as negative and critical (I have been told this on more than one occasion!) Trying to deal with a child and husband with undiagnosed autism is also likely to be very stressful so things may have been perceived more critically than under normal conditions. My problem when we were bringing up kids was that I was too open to negotiation and would end up debating things endlessly with the kids when I should have just been more consistent.

    My dispute is about a construction issue - we are suing over a home renovation project that went wrong - some of the confusion was propbably down to my communication skills but the main cause was the builder was a rogue trader. Hopefully I will feel positive if we get a good result - winning or losing must have a big impact on how well we think of it.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Gramit,

    Many thanks for sharing all of that. It sounds as though you have come out of it stronger and wiser which is not the common outcome for such disputes.

    I think we do come across as negative and critical (I have been told this on more than one occasion!) Trying to deal with a child and husband with undiagnosed autism is also likely to be very stressful so things may have been perceived more critically than under normal conditions. My problem when we were bringing up kids was that I was too open to negotiation and would end up debating things endlessly with the kids when I should have just been more consistent.

    My dispute is about a construction issue - we are suing over a home renovation project that went wrong - some of the confusion was propbably down to my communication skills but the main cause was the builder was a rogue trader. Hopefully I will feel positive if we get a good result - winning or losing must have a big impact on how well we think of it.

Children
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