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My son doesn't want to see me

AndySmith

Hi all,

I have a 11 year-old son. He's autistic. Myself & his mum got divorced years ago. There have been hardly any issues with my ex.

It hasn't been easy seeing my son as he isn't keen on moving from one house to another but overall things haven't been too bad.

I used to see him nearly every week.  For 10 years I phoned him regularly.  Lately he became more determined he didn't want to see me. This really upset me. 

I'm not perfect but I love him & try to do my best for him. 

I kept having discussions with his mum regarding this through emails & texts. His mum said our son didn't want to see me & that's the end of it.

I tried to persuade her that our son needs our help and that'll be good for him to maintain a good relationship with me.She said he talked to autism lady at school and expressed his feelings. 

She asked me to leave them alone and to come back in 6 months.  I tried to convince her that it would be better if we did something about it now by involving the professionals.

She blocked my number & reported me to the police.

I haven't seen nor spoken to my son for nearly 3 months.  I miss him.

Any suggestions anyone ?

Thank you.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Gramit,

    You must have been through the mill to get to this point, life with troubles such as yours is really tough. Well done for keeping a level head through all of that.

    I will totally agree with your statement about legal action being a last resort. I am pursuing a different matter and the process is utterly awful and arbitrary and it absolutely discourages people from using it. I think this sometimes means that some people will get away with things that they shouldn't.

    I'm interested in your views on how your autism contributed to the breakup of your relationship - I have read that undiagnosed autism is a risk factor for relationships and I can see that people who struggle to see eye to eye will get into difficulties. I think I have been fortunate in having a relationship that has lasted but the autism (only diagnosed relatively recently) certainly hasn't helped us to have the best possible relationship. What do you wish you had known about yourself that might have avoided or reduced the difficulties you have had?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Gramit,

    You must have been through the mill to get to this point, life with troubles such as yours is really tough. Well done for keeping a level head through all of that.

    I will totally agree with your statement about legal action being a last resort. I am pursuing a different matter and the process is utterly awful and arbitrary and it absolutely discourages people from using it. I think this sometimes means that some people will get away with things that they shouldn't.

    I'm interested in your views on how your autism contributed to the breakup of your relationship - I have read that undiagnosed autism is a risk factor for relationships and I can see that people who struggle to see eye to eye will get into difficulties. I think I have been fortunate in having a relationship that has lasted but the autism (only diagnosed relatively recently) certainly hasn't helped us to have the best possible relationship. What do you wish you had known about yourself that might have avoided or reduced the difficulties you have had?

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