Social Skills Group activities?

Of course, I 'officially' have better social skills than most on here (I say officially after going through diagnosis and not getting diagnosed because of it). So I'm not sure what would or would not help most autistic people in that respect.  I thought maybe minimising 'input' would help. But it seems both of you find the idea of being without visual input disturbing.

Maybe this relates to strategy in minimsing 'input'. Personally when I'm sitting on a very crowded bus I'll often close my eyes to cut myself off a bit.  I know a lot of autistic people use headphones/music. So I'm cutting out visual information, others cut out sound information.

Pixie: role play doesn't have to be watched. Eg people can all split into pairs/groups and do it at the same time, even in different rooms, then report back. Something you maybe need to ask for if you ever have to do it? Don't know about it feeling false though: maybe that's just something you hopefully lose if you get used to doing it?  Guess there's no guarentee that everyone would get used to it!

Pixiefox, you've just reminded me how uncomfortable I get on the phone. I find it a bit hard to get out my words because, as you say, there is no visual element to the conversation. When actually addressing someone in the flesh I think it is easier because they can be aware of body language and this, I think, makes the conversation more natural. I don't know whether this is a general thing or something that people on the autistic spectrum tend to experience; it would be interesting to do a study on it. When you think about it, it shouldn't be that surprising because telephones are a modern invention and we have evolved to communicate face to face.

Atypical's suggestion of role play sitting back to back on chairs wouldn't work for me - what do other people think of this? I hate role play not because I have to make eye contact with someone else - it's because everyone else in the room is watching me, and because it feels false and un-natural. I also dislike phones, and I think it's because there is no visual element, so I find it hard to take in what people are saying (if I have to speak to someone on the phone at work, I have to write down anything I'll need to remember, because I immediately forget what someone is saying to me!)

PS: Socks, an aside for you... I remember a roll play I had to do once, which was actually for phone skills.  Because it was for phone skills we had to do it with one other person with our chairs back to back.  Wonder if that would be a less threatening way for you to start and allow you to concentrate on just the verbal and tone of voice side?  I'm told I have good eye contact, but I think my eyes are unfocused  or I'm looking out the side of my vision a lot more than people realise!

I'm thinking if they are high school students they are probably quite able?  Agree asking them what problems they want to work on is a good idea!  They may also be able to offer each other solutions.

Personally I'm a big fan of the girl with the curly hair (Alis Rowe).  I think her ideas around 'social energy' are especially useful and would be good to look at in your group. I'd recomend looking up her website and getting some of her books, especially the one on that subject. I think this would be a good place to start: it's great to learn how to behave like a neurotypical.  But you can't make them neurotypical. Learning about and managing the energy it takes is a useful skill.

When it gets onto actual social skills, I think Don Gabor's 'How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends' is seen as a good starting point.

It seems to me that when people talk about 'body language' often what they are actually talking about is 'face language'.  I think it's maybe better to start off with telling the difference between comfortable/relaxed and uncomfortable/tense, which is really all you need to tell if you are doing well in a conversation or making the person uncomfortable! (Though of course the person may be trying to be 'polite' in face language! And may not want you to draw attention to any tenseness...).  A book I like is Joe Navarro's What Every Body is Saying, as it concentrates on comfortable/uncomfortable as shown in bodily signs.

The Girl With The Curly Hair books you could possibly use in group.  The others you'd probably want to pull some stuff out of.  The last especially gets into pretty complex stuff: if you have any really interested students they might want to read it themselves.

Goosebay - you said: "I would simply do one thing - whether it is poke someone or yell to get attention and they give me a new way to handle a social situation"

I would not advise poking people or yelling in a room full of autistic people. Remember that most of us have anxiety and sensory issues, which are likely to be exacerbated by loud / sudden noises and we DON'T like physical contact unless we agree to it first. Ensure that the room you use is quiet and you will not be disturbed by noise from outside.

Also, if you asked me how to deal with a social situation, I would say "I don't know" and I would be thinking "why isn't he/she telling us? They are supposed to be the teacher". I think this might be the response you would get. We're not good at social imagination.

Most of us are highly visual learners, so how about trying to find some videos which give examples of good & bad behaviours in social situations, reading body language, etc? Then after the video you could lead a discussion about it.

Hope this is useful

asparagus said:

all i know is that i hate role play.

Personally, I don't think hate is a strong enough word for my feelings about this. Role play training always made me so uncomfortable and I never felt as though I got anything out of it. My guess is that you probably need to be good at eye contact and all of the other things that we struggle with before you can get something out of role play.

Having said all that, I am struggling with working out how else to train myself to be better in job interviews.

Hi Bob - I will definitely explore this option. Thanks so much!!

Hi Goosebay

Have a look at Network Autism .. you may find some contacts there

http://network.autism.org.uk/

Bob Mod

Thanks for the repsonse. It is not role play in terms of taking a lot of time - rather - I would simply do one thing - whether it is poke someone or yell to get attention and they give me a new way to handle a social situation. It is not only the parents and teachers, but, rather a few students who would like something in place to help them make friends. It will depend on the group and their preference. I was hoping for some additional ideas that have shown proven success.

all i know is that i hate role play.  Not because of shyness or anything but for me it really does not do anything at all.  The social skills group I went to, I lasted one week because it was their teaching method too.

Whether it because am on the ASD spectrum or just me but tell me am to do Role play, I do honestly take full part but really find it - it don't help me experience or learn anything.

Just a huge relief i got through it.

I would say, ask the students who come along what they want to do. Their idea may be different from their parents. Those pupils may not turn up anyway if it all done voluntarily. Think parents think that if school shows them then it dealt with. 

I would have a few different ideas up your sleeve for the first few sessions but for me I know I wouldn't be coming back into the group if it based on role play learning. It don't suit everyone. Social stories don't work much for me either.  You guys not  on the ASD spectrum kind of think that all we need in way of help. Ps am a 45+ year old but know role play and social stories never and dont help me much. 

Ideally it should be a group they want to feel a part of. Social education loosely in mind but one can learn far more over a game of chess than role play