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My son has just told me he's suicidal

FeFeTrixabel

My son will be turning 18 next month. In 6 weeks time he will be finishing his college course and although I have been trying to get him motivated for the past year to decide what he wants to do after he leaves college, and make plans to make that happen, he hasn't and I think he's now starting to panic.

He's just come downstairs to say good night before he goes to bed and has told me that he just wants to end it all. He says he doesn't trust anyone and thinks that they are all going to bully him. He says he has friends but not like other people have friends as they are all quirky like him. He also said he hears voices in his head. I can't work out if this is just his conscience like everyone hears or whether this is something more serious.

I'm just wondering if anyone knows where I go from here? How do I get him a counsellor or therapist or some sort of support to help him through this? Do I take him back to the doctors and get him refered that way? Or is there an organisation I can go through? Is there someone specific that I can get in contact with?

Any help offered greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

Fe

  • Thank you for all your replies. I got him in to see the Doctor and he referred him to the psychiatric team for assessment straight away. He's been assessed now and they are looking into what extra support they can give him. I've also spoken with the college and he's starting seeing the counsellor there this week and getting more support with where he goes from here and what his options are having left it too late to apply for most things he wanted to do. He seems much calmer again now. 

    Thank you all for your advice and support. Much appreciated. 

  • I also listen to radio 4 all through the night.  Music makes me _________  can't think of a word, but does my head in (as our son says).

    Also, very educational too.

    Also, no logic or reasoning can get into my brain if I'm suicidal.  I thank one rough sleeper every time I see him, as I was held in a bear hug by him for minutes as onlookers phoned the police one time I was about to jump from a bridge.  He stank though, which caused me even more distress, but I am still alive to tell the tale.

    M.

  • I thought that I would explain a little why I am concerned with this.

    I have tried suiciden (several times), and it came from nowhere, just a change in circumstances - I started hearing voices.  Nine years ago I started taking antidepressants and antipsychotics.  I've reduced the antidepressants so will finish them tomorrow, the antipsychotics - well I'm still taking them.  

    I've got through it.  You both will get your sons through it too.

    M.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hearing voices is actually fairly normal and does not necessarily indicate anything serious. If he thinks the voices are telling him to harm himself or others then that is another matter altogether.

    Suicide is frighteningly common. It is common in that age group and it is particularly common at exam time at the end of the academic year.

    He needs help urgently in my opinion. This should involve counselling/talking therapies that can re-establish some normal expectations and some normal social contact. Autistic people are often dangerously lonely and unable to work out how to fix that loneliness.

    Your GP would be a good place to start, there are lots of helplines and you could start with the mental health charity mind http://www.mind.org.uk/ There are urgent help sections on that web page that will get you started.

    I am writing this with a grief stricken son at home who has just been pole-axed by his ex flat mate who has just ended it all. No warning, noone suspected anything, everyone is absolutely traumatised. There is no sense to it and it just makes me sad and angry and helpless when it happens. Please don't ignore it.

  • Hi,

    Take him to the doctors immediately.  If the people at the desk tell you the next appointment is next week, tell them that your 17 year od son is feeling suicidal.  Perhaps do it over the phone, so not everyone hears!

    This is what my PhD is about - there are good articles out there for you and your doctor to read, but Cassidy and colleagues said in 2014 that people with autism are 9 times more likley to think of suicide than the normal popuation.  I've read into it, he may not even be depressed, but just go from idea to suicide.  Sorry if this is too blunt, but do phone the drs.  They will put you in contact with others afterwards.

    I'll be thinking of you,

    Margaret