Published on 12, July, 2020
www.awesomelyaspergersboy.wordpress.com
my first ever blog post:
I'm WINGING IT again.
I've given it thought and I think now I'll say:
My oldest son has an Aspergers brain. There. *Long exhale of breath*
He knows it.
Frankly, he tells everyone he meets.
He 'gets' it; His brain is wired a unique way and it makes him awesome. Simple, right ?
But, actually, no. Not simple.
He is beginning to discover everyone else doesn't get it, this simple fact. Even me, at times (*gulp*). Yes, EVEN I cringe sometimes when he announces it.
More and more he is understanding it's more COMPLEX than just his personality makeup, the way I explained it to him back when he was aged 8... He's different. And it often hurts.
He's kind and people are mean back.
He's honest and passionate about being fair and just, but others come out on top by lying and tricking the people in charge in his life.
He knows TONS about some topics and is so enthusiastic to make you an expert too, for FREE, but you're not interested. In fact , his energy makes you frustrated. It feels like he's sharing his most exciting news and all we want to do is argue or rubbish it.
He sits down at the school canteen table with a smile on his face, and you all get up and leave?! - and the world says HE'S the one with social interaction difficulties?
High school is hurtling towards my son like an oncoming high speed train and there's a blunt challenge in his outlook - I'm Aspergers. How will this high school business cope with me? I admit it, I'm as nervous as him. More so. I'm not ready for a big wide world!
I want acceptance for him
I want inclusion
I want happiness SO much
But actually I want more than that. I want people to say 'lucky you!' to me... And see what I see, and believe I am blessed.
WTF, a syndrome?!! Without Aspergers brains we wouldn't have Microsoft, Lego, NASA, Apple and Facebook ... To name but a few CORE aspects of life as we know it! Is this amazing brain REALLY a disability?
So socially he's a bit, well – "blunt in conversations, justice oriented, black and white in his thinking, awkward in eye-contact, overly-focused on a few subjects, has odd speech at times, misreads some social cues and can be clumsy"....
But I say... So? Are we each perfect, us Non-Aspies?
He's BRILLIANT.
Beyond tender and concerned when you're sad.
He'll never try to belittle you.
Be your friend regardless of how you look or sound.
Soooooo demonstrative of his affection. Big HUGS!
A deep thinker, passionate to make a difference in this lifetime he's been given ... An unquenchable energy and drive.
Honest. ALWAYS.
And yet...a Comic! A bubbling up longing to see you abandon whatever is holding you back - and join him in LAUGHTER. He can be hilarious!
My son definitely makes the world brighter. I wouldn't have him any other way. Yes, there's challenges for him and by extension, me and us, his family... But I would be lost without his amazingly wired mind. He brings me soooo much love and happiness and his vulnerability is precious.
He's a gift, and I hope by raising awareness people like my son won't feel alone , misunderstood , sad, angry or frustrated that they can't find their place.
DIVERSITY SHOULD BE CELEBRATED
#LightItUpBlue
#AutismAwarenessMonth
#AwesomelyAspergers
#HeartonSleeve
hiya, I know exactly what you mean with reference to 'angry' when playing bed wars - we also play murder mystery (it's like tag) and sky wars also in hypixel...
FYI - I've just joined Asperger and ASD UK Online Forum - they have a little messaging option for members...
My son plays minecraft on a laptop, mainly on his own, but will also play games on 'hipixel', which is also linked to minecraft and that is multiplayer..I often need to supervise this though, as he can say things which are inappropriate and can also be easily led astray, despite endless discussions about safety!
One of his favourite games on hipixel would probably be 'bed wars'..the only problem we have with this, is how angry it makes him.
He also went through a brief phase on the xbox, playing various games, but soon got fed up with it and was back on the laptop.
hi, I did reply earlier but I'm unable to see it... So sorry if this is in duplicate - yes it would be good to chat some more. My son has Asperger's and Dyspraxia but is a bit of a wiz on the computer and loves to play the minecraft server game on his PC. Does your son have a favourite game?
Hi,
I have a 12 year old boy who has Aspergers, ADHD and SPD. He too loves minecraft and it does appear to be all he cares about at present.
It would be nice to chat some more with you.
Hello, i'm mum to a 10 year old boy who loves to play minecraft - at the expence of most other things...
My son is fifteen. I feel the same way that you do. My son is clever, funny and kind. I live in a small village. Harry is no longer considered cool to socialize with by his peers. My son is shunned by the kids he grew up with and played with at the village playgroup, through to primary school. My son is wonderful and yet he is the one that is deemed to have the problem. It makes me so sad and frightened for my son's future, having to make his way in a world that fails to accept and embrace people who are different. Even though those differences can be starterlingly beautiful.
Hi Abbi Bell,
Haven't heard from you for awhile..is everything okey with you and your son?
Scanavis
Well, I'm pleased you managed to get one as so many people don't. Its not right that you have to nag and fight your way through though..as a parent, I am constantly fighting the people who are meant to be helping.
Do you receive any kind of support?
I'm so happy for you that your feeling better about things..there will always be 'up's' as well as downs.
What I'm also telling myself more and more is that there are so many other kids on the same spectrum and so its not just ours.
I have been told about a website called the sensory store, and have already had a look..there seem to be some interesting ideas to try but there not cheap!
Scanavis said:Did you end up getting just the one diagnosis or did you end up with two like my husband? We ended up going private for the first one and then because that wasn't acknowledged by some professionals, we then had to get an NHS one..crazy huh?
Did you end up getting just the one diagnosis or did you end up with two like my husband? We ended up going private for the first one and then because that wasn't acknowledged by some professionals, we then had to get an NHS one..crazy huh?
I nagged my GP and got NHS diagnosis.
We had a good day today. My daughter went to the local shop with a girl from school. This felt GREAT!!! I think coming back onto the forums made me feel more positive & more in touch rather than feeling isolated
Scanavis said:What do you think about your diagnosis? My husband said when he received his, it answered all those unanswered questions he had about himself.
What do you think about your diagnosis? My husband said when he received his, it answered all those unanswered questions he had about himself.
Oh yes. It explained a lot to me of why I've had the difficulties I've had. Misunderstanding people and being misunderstood. Something to do with non-verbal communication - whatever that is - I never could get my head round it.
Other issues too but that's a big part of it.
I'm new to the forum myself.
Scanavis said:Hi Paul1964,I take it you have Aspergers then?How long have you been a member here?
Hi Paul1964,
I take it you have Aspergers then?
How long have you been a member here?
Yes, though I was told they don't call it that anymore, just Autistic Spectrum Disorder or ASD. To me that's too vague as Aspegers is a useful term that refers mostly to a subset of HFA traits which I fit into quite well.
I've been a member here a few weeks, since just after getting my diagnosis.
Hi There!
Ice cream is also good! How are things at your end?
lol. I LOVE the wine suggestion!!! I might also have to add ice cream !!!
Scanavis said:Are you aware of the 'peak' that our kids reach during an outburst? I have learnt now, but it took me awhile, to wait for my son (and husband), to be coming down from their peak, before trying to talk to them, as before then, they are too angry and upset..my husband also has Aspergers.
Are you aware of the 'peak' that our kids reach during an outburst? I have learnt now, but it took me awhile, to wait for my son (and husband), to be coming down from their peak, before trying to talk to them, as before then, they are too angry and upset..my husband also has Aspergers.
Funny you should mention that. I'll mention it to my wife for when the poor lass is having to deal with one of my meltdowns.
You're right though, nothing said to me will make any sense until I'm coming out from the other side of the episode.
Hello Again,
I've just replied to another of your messages!
So sorry to hear things haven't been going well for you..your not going insane, trust me..it will however, feel like you are more often than not, thanks to our lovable rogues.
How do we manage with name calling and hurting? WINE and lots of it!
Its difficult..I too have come onto this forum to get some answers and its having to accept that there's no quick fix with our kids..We are getting outside help and support from autism specialists, but even they don't have all the answers, which can be frustrating. I must have read so many books and still don't know what to do!
When I can talk to my son, I mention that I didn't like the way he spoke to me when he was angry and that hurting is not acceptable..this hopefully makes him more aware, but its not a cure..we can only hope that as they mature, it will get easier?!