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Advice on my 7 year olds behavior

LO*

Hi everyone

My name is lisa and Im mother to a 7 year old boy (Owen) who is diagnosed with Autism.  Part of his dianosis is a 3 1/2 year speech and behavioral delay, however his learning ability is correct for his age.  recently I have moved in with my new partner and between us Owen is one of four children, Owen is the youngest.  The move went extremly well with Owen visitng the new property many times before the actual move.  His bedroom is all setup like the old house and he seems really settled.  However recently his behavioral melt down have started again.  These use to happen once every couple of weeks then down to maybe once a month however they are becoming a bit more frequent now.  Owen likes to try play fighting with his older siblings, when they dont want to engage he will pester and pester until they end up yelling at him to 'stop'.  Owen will then become destructive and agressive as he hasnt got his own way.  Behaviours he will demonstrate are kicking, spitting, pinching, slapping.  It is then upto me to step in and try and defuse the situations which normally consists of picking up a thrashing child and removing him from the room to a quiter place to calm down, usually his bedroom.  Owen will go crazy when Im trying to remove him, screaming, nipping etc and my partner (owen is not his child) will stand there in dismay, which makes me feel a bit embarassed if Im totally honest as it feels like Im failing to control my child  .   Has anyone else experienced this?  Am I doing the right thing when dealing with Owens melt downs?  Any help or sugesstions on startegys would be really appreciated as this is getting me down and I hate seeing Owen suffer when he has these meltdowns as it really takes it out of him  Thanks guys xx Lisa & Owen

  • I would consider taking your children to gymnastics & martial arts, if you don't already. Something physical like that, whatever your son would like to do & at least one of the other kids being into it would help. (I could offer help in selecting a martial arts club in your area, if it comes to that). I am well versed in what constitutes a good club.

    As his mind is more active it also makes the body more active, he needs a daily regimem of focussed physical activty. Learning a musical instrument is another option, again it would help if another child were learning one too.

    Physically removing him from the room will only embarass him, worsen the situation & reinforce stigma in the other children. It's not their fault, they just need to understand the situation, that your son is 'wired differently', which comes with more pros than cons in my own personal perspective.

    SENSITIVITY is the key watchword when dealing with autistic 'sufferers', they might appear 'numb', but the opposite is true, they shield themselves from the sensory overload of everyday life, as a matter of self-preservation.

    When your son's in a 'fitful' mood he needs at the least, intellectual engagement, a game of cards, anything.

    The autistic mind is in a constant spongelike 'open state', ready to process all incoming information, if there's a lack of engaging information, he'll get restless in mind & then body or at least vocally :)