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distressed and feeling let down by public services.

kathben

This is my first post on this website and I hope I am posting in the right place. I am also hoping to gain some help and support.

My son is 18 years old and on the autisc spectrum. He seems to be suffering a nervous breakdown and his own anger is really scaring him ( and me) . Last night he attacked me (not for the first time) and then asked us to get him to the hospital for help. He knows that he needs help and desparately wants it. He couldn't stand the wait in the hospital and left. His father was with him but there was nothing he could do, on his own, to prevent this.  Eventualy the police found our son and took him back to the hospital. He was then sent home and told to contact his GP in the morning. We took him to the GP who refered him to the mental health emergency response team. He was told that the team would ring him within the hour. They didn't  Two and a half hours later I rang the surgery and they promised to check up and ring back. They didn't. My son lost it again and as I had been advised last night by NHS Direct to ring social services for help, I decided to do so . I told them that my son was physically attacking me and threatening to kill me but as soon as I mentioned that he was  'autisic' the person at the other end said that as this was a medical condition they wouldn't be able to help. I feel totally let down by everyone except the policeman who handled  my son with great skill, kindness and understanding. In 18 years I have never called Social Services and only did so because the NHS advised me to - I rang the tel. no supplied by them. In the end my husband took our son back to the doctor's surgery and refused to leave. Eventually we gained access to the emergency response team. I haven't slept at all - neither has my son. The response team admitted that the hospital should have dealt with this last night.They also told me that the surgery had provided them with an incorrect telephone number.

We need help as a family. The first GP  I spoke to this morning tried to defend the hospital and said that my son was stupid to leave the hospital the first time round. If he had really needed help he would not have done this. There is no understanding - none at all. My son is on the autistic spectrum for goodness' sake. There is a full diagnosis and it is on his medical records.

  • Thanks for your reply, Wolfbear 

    My son won't come to this site as yet but hopefully he will do so in the not too distant future. 

    He is receiving help and he has someone outside the family to talk too.


    Kath 



  • Wendyocd - Thank you for the information and for your reply. Much appreciated.

    My son now has some support and he has been promised further help and a referral after Christmas. He has also been told that he can ring some emergency number at anytime. Someone from Social Services attended the crisis meeting and they are there for him too. Now that my son knows that there is help out there, he seems reasonably settled.

    We went through 16 hours of hell and all because the hospital and the out of hours GP services didn't take appropriate action. Each claimed that it was the responsiblity of the other. Not good enough. I haven't explained everything that happened during the 16 hours but I am not exagerating when I say that they put my son's life at risk. I will be following this through.

  • Also make a formal complaint against the hospital.

  • Go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a counseler that is specialised in autism/ASD etc. DO NOT LEAVE THE SURGERY without that referral. If the GP won't give you the referral then tell the GP that you would like to make a FORMAL complaint and go to the receptionist and make a formal complaint.

    Go back to social services and tell them that your son needs a social worker. DO NOT ACCEPT that because he's autistic that they are unable to deal with him as my brother is 25 and autistic and has his own social worker.

    The NHS and local authority social services complaints procedureFirst stage - resolution of the complaint at a local level

    To complain about any aspect of NHS treatment you've received or have been refused, or services provided by the local authority social services, go to the organisation concerned. Ask for a copy of the complaints procedure. You can do this for any service provided by the NHS, for example, GPs, opticians, dentists, and hospitals, and local authority social services departments.

    In all cases, the first stage of the procedure is to make a complaint to the practitioner concerned. A social services department must have a member of staff who deals with complaints. They are called the complaints manager. A large health centre may also have a complaints manager. A smaller practice will probably not have a complaints manager, but all NHS practices have a procedure, and someone who has responsibility for it. In most cases, the matter will be resolved at this stage.

    The complaints manager can arrange for an independent conciliator or mediator to be brought in to help resolve the complaint.

    Second stage – referral to an ombudsman

    If you are unhappy with the decision of the complaints manager at the organisation concerned, you do not have a right of appeal. However, you can refer the matter to the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman if the complaint is about the NHS, or the Local Government Ombudsman if the complaint is about social services.

    Hope this helps and gets you and your son the support you/he need(s)

  • god that all sounds awfull, but hopefully you got there in the end!

    sam

    x

  • Sam and Jim -Thank you for your support. I will ring the helpline. I am still so disappointed with the NHS emergency services - they were incompetent and worse than useless. Initially I rang NHS Direct but they gave me incorrect information and advice  - plus some incorrect telephone numbers. They told me that I needed to ring the out of hours GP but when I got through I was told to get him to the hospital - but the hospital simply referred him to the GP. The GP and this response/ crisis unit got themselves in a mess and the only thing we could do in the end was to organise a 'sit in' at the surgery. Eventually, the surgery supplied us with the address of the response/crisis unit and we took our son to them!

  • Hi kathben,

    Just wanted to agree with what SamF has said, it's really important you speak to someone about what's clearly been a really disappointing and difficult experience.

    Our helpline, which is free to call, can put you in touch with many of our other services. Please give them a call and see if it helps to discuss your situation and find the help you and your son needs.

    Here's the link to our helpline page -

    http://www.autism.org.uk/helpline

    Hope things improve for you and your family soon

  • Hi,

    I cant offer any advice just wanted to lend my support to you. If you want to talk this through with someone (because it sounds like its been really horible) phone the parentline number for the NAS. Dont sit alone feeling bad.

    I hope you get the help your son needs now that you have gained access to the emergency responce team.

    Good luck and Im thinking of you

    Sam

    x