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my Angry 12year old Autistic Grandson

jonathepainter

I Have now dicided to join here because i need advice from other parents and carers and i will share my help where needed

my Autistic grandson is 12 years old and lived with my wife and myself since he was born

his father has never been involved and his mother says she carn't cope looking after 2 kids so we have looked after him, he is very challenging with his behavour and has many outbursts of rage which will just explode from nothing

we can cope with his anger its the swearing in your face which hurts the most he can be so cruel with his swearing so the people who have looked after him and cared for him through his difficult life

  • Hi 

    I am mum to a 15 year old boy who sounds just like

    you grandson . I am constantly being absused

    by my son both verbally and physically. Like you

    it is the swearing and in my case constant 

    name calling that upsets me the most. 

    School has never worked for my

    son and I have spent years foghting the system

    he has now not been in education for 2 years

    and will turn 16 in June with no qualifications.

    Sorry I can,t give you any advice just wanted 

    you to know you are not alone in this 

    horrible way of life .

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi,

    My experience of school was mainly OK. I did have problems with bullying at secondary school but managed to get through that OK (Police got involved and sorted out the bullies) I wasn't diagnosed until age 56 and I think I was lucky with having a sympathetic and well managed and controlled school and sympathetic parents who, in hindsight, had the right approach. I think a lot of modern schools are too unstructured so school has become more difficult for many kids with the problem. I only got diagnosed recently as I kept having conflicts and misunderstandings at work. Everyone with autism is different but we all have the same problems with understanding what other people expect from us.

    Home schooling has advantages but also avoids the main problem of teaching him how to work with other people. There are good schools out there - some have specialist autism units and there also special schools that really will be better for some kids.

  • thank you for your reply we are trying to understand our grandson as much as we can

    he can be really lovely at times and then strike you down the next

    we are having a constant battle with schools this is his main anger point

    he has been to every school in our area and non of them seem to listen to his needs

    we have a constant fight to get him to attend school

    i really enjoyed it when i home schooled him he was alot more calmer 

    but his mother wanted him to go school because she said if he doesnt go school dont bring him my house because i carnt get jobs done with him around me

    so im back to trying to battle with him getting him to school

    i just wanted some feedback on your school days and your thoughts on it

  • thank you for your reply we are trying to understand our grandson as much as we can

    he can be really lovely at times and then strike you down the next

    we are having a constant battle with schools this is his main anger point

    he has been to every school in our area and non of them seem to listen to his needs

    we have a constant fight to get him to attend school

    i really enjoyed it when i home schooled him he was alot more calmer 

    but his mother wanted him to go school because she said if he doesnt go school dont bring him my house because i carnt get jobs done with him around me

    so im back to trying to battle with him getting him to school

    i just wanted some feedback on your school days and your thoughts on it

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi,

    Welcome to the forum. It sounds as though you are really struggling to understand things from your grandsons point of view. Have you ever been on a training course like the Earlybird Plus http://www.autism.org.uk/earlybirdplus ? I don't know if there is similar scheme for older children but I think it would be really good to find out what help you can get with working out how to handle, and work with, an autistic child.

    I'm autistic and managed most of my life without knowing I was autistic! I am also a parent and about to be a grandfather so I can see things from your grandson's point of view but also from a parent's point of view.

    Did you see the Born Naughty series on Channel 4? This gave some insight about how autistic children behave but it also gave some ideas about getting help and tips for managing children. It is available to view from the C4 website.