Hello All,
I have known my stepdaughter for about 4 years. She was 11 yrs when I first met, now nearly 15. I did not have my own child but due to my current marriage, I became her stepmother.
I always loved (or tried to love) her. I prefer her to my stepson who is 'normal'. Because she is honest. She doesn't pretend she likes me, but she does. I think people who know AS children know what I mean.
However, recently she has suddenly showing a very cold side to me, almost disliking me or hating me for being her dad's wife. She (I think) has struggled to cope with her parent's divorce. She was the one who was always too scared because she believed her mother say 'we will be homeless without dad'. (I did not know my husband then, so I am not the cause of the separation).
From the first time I met her, we have developed quite a good relationship until two christmases ago. During that time, we got married, and she was so happy to see me become her stepmother. She was very cuddly, always following me, loving what I cook for her: showing good close relationship. But one day, after coming back from her maternal grandmother's place to spend her Christmas, she changed completely, and refused to see us (my husband and myself) for a long period of time.
Since then, on and off, we have tried hard to be accepted by her. But again, after this Christmas, her attitude has changed, and she shows almost no interest at all in my presence.
To be very honest with you, I am fed up with her changable attitude, and I feel I am started to disliking her. I cannot see her coming back to me or carrying on seeing me when she gets older than 18, when my husband's obligation to see her expires.
It might be wrong to expect a reward to see a child, but this is my true feeling. I do not want to invest a lot of warm emotions to her to find out in the future that I am refused by her. I have always provided love and affection and almost sacrificed my every other weekends. (I know this is just a part-time stepmotherhood).
Is there anybody else who is in a similar situation? Any stepmothers or stepfathers with your partner's offspring? How can you cope with the situation?
Thank you very much for reading such a long post.
Regards,
Dodo
PS: I mistakenly uploaded my comment to a wrong area. Sorry for disturbing other people's discussion. I successfully found this correct area to start a discussion.