My 2 year old son has autism

Hiya,

So sorry to hear that it's so hard for you, I find it hard with just the one, can't imagine how difficult it is to look after 3 young children and deal with your son who possibly has autism.  If you need to talk,  I am here :-)

Hi Susan,

So sorry for the delay in replying - we have been away over easter.

Such fantastic news that he is saying yes or no!  My little one only says no, and that he started only a month or so ago.  But he is still making a lot of progress in his understanding, and has shown some role play and imitation.

Aww, thank you too - it's nice to talk to someone in a similar situation.

I understand about taking our little ones anywhere.  I stopped taking my son to anything like a class a long time ago, as I really struggled with the looks I got from other parents when he didn't want to sit still, join in or do what he was supposed to do.  It is not that much of an issue anymore as he gets his social interaction from nursery now, so don't feel as guilty that I am not taking him anywhere.  Having said that, I have booked a pantomime for him to go to, just in the local library, to see how it goes,  My husband will be with me, so I won't be alone.  I hope he will be ok and enjoy it.

You are so right about the money.  I was just telling my husband the other day how if you don't have money, there is no way you could intervene early to help your child, and then it would be too late.  Seems so unfair.

I'm not sure whereabouts you are in regards to the nursery, I live in Basingstoke, are you near here?

Take care, Taniya

Hi There,

How are things lately? My son has improved so much with his receptive language, eye contact and concentration. He is now able to say yes and no, which is so amazing. He still has so many obstacles to overcome but we are with hime every single step of the way. Hope your little man is doing great.

I wonder if you could possibly recomend a good nursery for my son? All the main stream nurseries i take him to locally seem to have very little to no understanding of autism as the staff are so young and in experienced. It breaks my heart to be in this situation, as i feel my son would benefit massively with his social skills if he had the right envornment to thrive in, with caring and understanding staff. Everywhere i go it feels as though people are just ignornant, when my son doesnt sit still for singing or doesnt comply like other children we get starred at as if we were aliens from another planet!

You have been a great support. Its just so nice to know im not alone, since every day and every choice i make i feel like im the first one to encounter issues.

Thanks again for all your advice and support. We have hired a private speech therapist at a whopping cost of £70.00 per hr, since the nhs waiting list is currently 5 months! I am still waiting to receive any help from anywhere and have been informed that extra help could be at least 12 months away. Sometimes it all just gets far too much to bear. As if nobody cares about our children unless you have fist fulls of cash to sling around.

Hope to speak to you soon.

Take care

Susan

Just reading some comments.my nearly 3 year old son is under diagnosis and I'm just struggling totally.i have 3 young children under the age of 7 and my youngest is just totally ruling the house.everything is his was or no way,he's destructful and seems as tho he does evrything for a reaction and goes out of his way to push his luck Altho inknow it's not the case it feels that way.i dont have anyne to talk to about my life and it's so hard 

Thats great to know.Im so scared of putting my son in nursery as he has no form of communication other than pulling me to different areas/ things that he wants by the hand. If he cannot have something he just has a terrible tantrum, however he is accepting the word no much more. My son also hates different textures and realy cringes as play do, but he's not too bad with paint, and mud.

I am waiting on his support interventions to begin. I would be prepared to pay for private speech therapy since we are unable to recieve this under the regulations of our council until my son is 3 years old. so a whole year away, my heart breaks for him. I will look into some nurseries, however many nurseries do not cater very well for children with additional needs and so was hoping that his early support adviser will help stir me in the right direction, when this finally begins.

I too play taking turn games, 2 simple choices ect, but my son does not have any attention span or eye contact so needless to say, a lot of my efforts are not being internalised, but i will never give up trying.

Its also comforting to know that i am not alone and there are other mothers out there who are experiencing the same challenges as me and my son, so thank you for your support and words of encouragement.

You are very welcome.  It was a minefield when I realised my son had autism, and I wanted to help him as much as I can, just didn't know how.  That time is really difficult.

Wow, it really reminds me of my son at the age.  He had no understanding either - for example, he didn't understand that it was not a good idea to tip his cup and drop water everywhere!

It is fantastic that you have a lovely supporting family, really helps. Don't worry about putting him in nursery. I put my son in the term before his 3rd birthday, and he has really excelled there. There is a SENCo who does 1-1 sessions with him, as well as his key worker. They set targets in trying to get him to achieve things, for example, longer attention span. At first, he couldn't even stand being near other children – now, he happily plays alongside them. The other children are too young to think that he is in any way different.

1. We try to do messy play as much as we can. We have been going to a Play and Communication group with the NHS Speech Therapy department in our area has set up, and this is done in every session. My son hates different textures, and at home we have been introducing him slowly with things, such as uncooked rice/pasta/lentils, playdoh, paint etc.

2. We play games with him, and try and increase his attention span little by little. With my son, I know that if he paid more attention he would be more aware of his surroundings and pick up language easier. This was what we were told to concentrate on when we went privately to a Speech Therapist.

3. We always try to give him choices – does he want to play this car or that one? Does he want to eat these crisps or this biscuit? Giving him a choice enables him to start making his needs known.

4. We play games with 'Ready, Steady, Go'. In the beginning, we said this and then pushed a car for example. Then on 'Go' he would push the car. Then we would say 'Ready, Steady – and the leave a silence for him to fill in with 'Go'. Once he got the hang of that, we would say just 'Ready' and he would fill in the rest. Nursery has been doing this with him also. He now happily says it all, even though he has no other conversational speech.

5. We play games where we take turns. We say 'Toby's turn' when he is to do something, and 'Mummy's turn' before I do something. This helps him with social skills and patience. Again, nursery do this with him as well, so everything gets reinforced.

Hope some of this helps you, and good luck! Give me a shout if you need anything else x

Thank you so much for your kind words. I think my son is trying to say some words but i cannot be sure since it mostly sounds like complete random jibberish. No i am too scared to put him in nursery as he is so behind. His receptive language is also very poor, so he understands very little. I am still waiting for his proffesional support but i have a fantastic supporting family who help when they can. Any advice and support you can offer is very welcome.

Thanks once again x

I understand how you are feeling.  I am a 43 year old mum to my son who has just turned 3.  We are still waiting for a diagnosis, but all professionals we have seen are in agreement that he has autism.  On a positive side, my son has had so much help from his nursery, and we have had help from portage too.  At 2 he did not have any words, and we were so scared that he would never speak.  He has just started to say a few words now, and also 2 words together, which has been fantastic.  He is also better in his concentration and eye contact.  It has been slow progress, but progress is there. I thought it was the end of the world when I realised he had autism, and it broke my heart.  Now, there is hope, and realise he is such a little strong boy who is doing so well it makes me so proud of him.

Are you getting support from portage?  Does he go to nursery?  Have you had any other support from anyone since his diagnosis?  It has been a great help to me, don't know what I would do without it.  Get as much support as you can.  Hope you are feeling a bit better.  If you would like to know what we did to try and help our son, let me know x