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Son with ASD with social anxiety and severe depression in his late twenties never goes out

Angelequilting

My son is in his late twenties and lives in a flat we own and pay all the bills for. I just don't know if I should try and intervine after months in his bedroom in his flat, not really leaving it, he is fiercely private, can self medicate with alcohol and I just don't know which way to turn. I find talking about it breaks my heart, and when anything aspergers is spoken about publicly I brim up with tears and grief. Mostly we cope on a day to day basis, but I am getting tired and overwhelmed and just wonder if others have this sort of thing and how do they approach it? He can be quite verbally confrontational, and difficult to stop once he starts. He is very bright.

Parents

  • Sorry if you feel I was being a bit judgemental.

    I'm very conscious that I've been incredibly lucky, and I'm not being false about that. Yes I've had to struggle. But I don't have dyslexia, and it isn't obvious (I don't think so anyway) and I've found ways round it.

    I had to do a lot of conscience searching whether it was a good idea to tell people I was helping whether I had the diagnosis myself, and didn't. It really isn't a condition that allows you to say "look at me - I managed". And also I have generally found that people on the spectrum don't feel comforted by other people's experiences.

    You may be right about reversability. I'm possibly a bit over anxious not to feed some public sector areas that it is just about "pulling yourself together". I think for some people the mix of traits is just too overwheming.

    I was hoping the original poster Angelequilting would come back and tell us more. I was trying to reinforce her concerns by flagging up the difficulty.

    Has any of this dialogue helped or are there answers you seek that go beyond this? Angelequilter has no doubt explored many possible ways forward, and what is valuable here is parent or carer's insight into finding remedies. With me "sticking my oar in" (weird metaphor) I may have scared off parents with similar experiences from contributing to this thread.

Reply

  • Sorry if you feel I was being a bit judgemental.

    I'm very conscious that I've been incredibly lucky, and I'm not being false about that. Yes I've had to struggle. But I don't have dyslexia, and it isn't obvious (I don't think so anyway) and I've found ways round it.

    I had to do a lot of conscience searching whether it was a good idea to tell people I was helping whether I had the diagnosis myself, and didn't. It really isn't a condition that allows you to say "look at me - I managed". And also I have generally found that people on the spectrum don't feel comforted by other people's experiences.

    You may be right about reversability. I'm possibly a bit over anxious not to feed some public sector areas that it is just about "pulling yourself together". I think for some people the mix of traits is just too overwheming.

    I was hoping the original poster Angelequilting would come back and tell us more. I was trying to reinforce her concerns by flagging up the difficulty.

    Has any of this dialogue helped or are there answers you seek that go beyond this? Angelequilter has no doubt explored many possible ways forward, and what is valuable here is parent or carer's insight into finding remedies. With me "sticking my oar in" (weird metaphor) I may have scared off parents with similar experiences from contributing to this thread.

Children
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