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Son with ASD with social anxiety and severe depression in his late twenties never goes out

Angelequilting

My son is in his late twenties and lives in a flat we own and pay all the bills for. I just don't know if I should try and intervine after months in his bedroom in his flat, not really leaving it, he is fiercely private, can self medicate with alcohol and I just don't know which way to turn. I find talking about it breaks my heart, and when anything aspergers is spoken about publicly I brim up with tears and grief. Mostly we cope on a day to day basis, but I am getting tired and overwhelmed and just wonder if others have this sort of thing and how do they approach it? He can be quite verbally confrontational, and difficult to stop once he starts. He is very bright.

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  • I cannot agree with that hypothesis. Environment and personality play their part, but the combined forces of the different manifestations of autism are the major factor.

    I worked in academic disability support in a university, and have also been involved in many committees in both local authority and health camps. I've therefore seen and been involved with a fair few adults on the spectrum.

    Even in a benign environment, and with a strong personality and an admirable lot of fight some people are just overwhelmed by the impacts of their autism. What you are arguing makes light of autism by suggesting they can easily put it right - just as bad as all those woolly headed professionals making out that their course of treatment in teens will solve all the problems in adulthood.

    What is making it tough for many people with autism is just the sheer number of quacks out their extolling the virtues of beneficial therapy, or the right medication, and it will all go away. And if this doesn't work its the fault of the individual concerned for not making the right effort to make proper use of the generosity of spirit of the quacks.

    Autism is cruel. You can be very intelligent, and able, and a fighter. But you can do little if it strongly impacts on your facial expression and mannerisms, if you have tics or stims, if you have marked dyslexia depriving you of written communication as well as verbal, if you just cannot overcome the social barriers, or if the burden of difficulties pushes you down the path of depression. That isn't just environment.

    There isn't enough understanding of the complexities of autism. There are just too many professionals out there who think it is down to whether you try hard enough.

    You can believe that fixing the immediate social environment can change the path of someone's life with autism. The spirit of your intention wont make a jot of difference to a lot of people out there for whom life is a very real struggle.

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  • I cannot agree with that hypothesis. Environment and personality play their part, but the combined forces of the different manifestations of autism are the major factor.

    I worked in academic disability support in a university, and have also been involved in many committees in both local authority and health camps. I've therefore seen and been involved with a fair few adults on the spectrum.

    Even in a benign environment, and with a strong personality and an admirable lot of fight some people are just overwhelmed by the impacts of their autism. What you are arguing makes light of autism by suggesting they can easily put it right - just as bad as all those woolly headed professionals making out that their course of treatment in teens will solve all the problems in adulthood.

    What is making it tough for many people with autism is just the sheer number of quacks out their extolling the virtues of beneficial therapy, or the right medication, and it will all go away. And if this doesn't work its the fault of the individual concerned for not making the right effort to make proper use of the generosity of spirit of the quacks.

    Autism is cruel. You can be very intelligent, and able, and a fighter. But you can do little if it strongly impacts on your facial expression and mannerisms, if you have tics or stims, if you have marked dyslexia depriving you of written communication as well as verbal, if you just cannot overcome the social barriers, or if the burden of difficulties pushes you down the path of depression. That isn't just environment.

    There isn't enough understanding of the complexities of autism. There are just too many professionals out there who think it is down to whether you try hard enough.

    You can believe that fixing the immediate social environment can change the path of someone's life with autism. The spirit of your intention wont make a jot of difference to a lot of people out there for whom life is a very real struggle.

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