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Son with ASD with social anxiety and severe depression in his late twenties never goes out

Angelequilting

My son is in his late twenties and lives in a flat we own and pay all the bills for. I just don't know if I should try and intervine after months in his bedroom in his flat, not really leaving it, he is fiercely private, can self medicate with alcohol and I just don't know which way to turn. I find talking about it breaks my heart, and when anything aspergers is spoken about publicly I brim up with tears and grief. Mostly we cope on a day to day basis, but I am getting tired and overwhelmed and just wonder if others have this sort of thing and how do they approach it? He can be quite verbally confrontational, and difficult to stop once he starts. He is very bright.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I think it useful to separate the autism/Aspergers itself from the consequences that often ensue from uncontrolled and unmanaged autism. The triad gives a diagnosis but it does not encompass all of the things that go wrong with in human psychology if the autism isn't managed to some extent. Autism predisposes us to solitary behaviour but this does not have to get out of control and turn into hermit like behaviour. If it does get out of hand,as it has here, then it takes an extra effort by those around the individual to unpick some of this behaviour. His behaviour isn't good for him and it isn't irredeemable. He will always have his autism but the hermit like behaviour can be dealt with.

    He needs to be taken in hand by the local mental health autism specialists and social workers, You need to find out who this is in your area and get them to get on with it. He is a vulnerable adult and there is a duty of care in the local authority and local health trusts to resolve this situation. Ring the NAS helpline for advice on how to get the ball rolling. They deal with situations like this and they have staff on the ground who will help identify and coordinate the required interventions.

    There are threads on the forum that talk about this and there are people here who have emerged from it.

    It is possible to live a much better life than that with Aspergers/autism. Longman is an example and I seem to have survived over the years but it has been touch and go at times. I have had help from local mental health staff and they have helped me significantly in keeping my bearings in an often harsh and uncomprehending world that we find ourselves in.

    Do not give up, it does NOT have to be the lifestyle that he has found:-)

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I think it useful to separate the autism/Aspergers itself from the consequences that often ensue from uncontrolled and unmanaged autism. The triad gives a diagnosis but it does not encompass all of the things that go wrong with in human psychology if the autism isn't managed to some extent. Autism predisposes us to solitary behaviour but this does not have to get out of control and turn into hermit like behaviour. If it does get out of hand,as it has here, then it takes an extra effort by those around the individual to unpick some of this behaviour. His behaviour isn't good for him and it isn't irredeemable. He will always have his autism but the hermit like behaviour can be dealt with.

    He needs to be taken in hand by the local mental health autism specialists and social workers, You need to find out who this is in your area and get them to get on with it. He is a vulnerable adult and there is a duty of care in the local authority and local health trusts to resolve this situation. Ring the NAS helpline for advice on how to get the ball rolling. They deal with situations like this and they have staff on the ground who will help identify and coordinate the required interventions.

    There are threads on the forum that talk about this and there are people here who have emerged from it.

    It is possible to live a much better life than that with Aspergers/autism. Longman is an example and I seem to have survived over the years but it has been touch and go at times. I have had help from local mental health staff and they have helped me significantly in keeping my bearings in an often harsh and uncomprehending world that we find ourselves in.

    Do not give up, it does NOT have to be the lifestyle that he has found:-)

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