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Son with ASD with social anxiety and severe depression in his late twenties never goes out

Angelequilting

My son is in his late twenties and lives in a flat we own and pay all the bills for. I just don't know if I should try and intervine after months in his bedroom in his flat, not really leaving it, he is fiercely private, can self medicate with alcohol and I just don't know which way to turn. I find talking about it breaks my heart, and when anything aspergers is spoken about publicly I brim up with tears and grief. Mostly we cope on a day to day basis, but I am getting tired and overwhelmed and just wonder if others have this sort of thing and how do they approach it? He can be quite verbally confrontational, and difficult to stop once he starts. He is very bright.

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  • This is one of those areas where the Triad of Impairments fails to describe autism (well its not a blueprint for living with autism but a diagnostic tool, but it is shoved out all the time as if it explained all behaviours),

    The best the Triad can come up with is "prefers to spend time alone rather than seeking the company of others".

    Yet one of the commonest reported characteristics of someone on the spectrum is just this - fiercely private, not leaving his bedroom - that's not a mere preferred solitude - its something a whole lot more harmful to all parties.

    I've got it at the fairly 'mild' end, or manageable. I live alone, and I don't find company easy to deal with. But I do get out and about every day, and I'm not permanently stuck in one room. The Triad in this instance seems to describe me perfectly. It completely fails to account for your son, and countless other sons and daughters described on here.

    There are so many autism characteristics that don't get discussed by the professionals, because they don't fit the standard model of the Triad. Yet this is the real area where we need professional help.

    Fear of company of any kind tends to be negatively reinforced. Spiralling anxiety continually deepens depression. The need for routine and sameness becomes more and more of a dependancy.  And seeking alcohol as an escape seems widely reported for autism.

    But you wont find this on the NAS web pages - either in About Autism or Living with Autism.

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  • This is one of those areas where the Triad of Impairments fails to describe autism (well its not a blueprint for living with autism but a diagnostic tool, but it is shoved out all the time as if it explained all behaviours),

    The best the Triad can come up with is "prefers to spend time alone rather than seeking the company of others".

    Yet one of the commonest reported characteristics of someone on the spectrum is just this - fiercely private, not leaving his bedroom - that's not a mere preferred solitude - its something a whole lot more harmful to all parties.

    I've got it at the fairly 'mild' end, or manageable. I live alone, and I don't find company easy to deal with. But I do get out and about every day, and I'm not permanently stuck in one room. The Triad in this instance seems to describe me perfectly. It completely fails to account for your son, and countless other sons and daughters described on here.

    There are so many autism characteristics that don't get discussed by the professionals, because they don't fit the standard model of the Triad. Yet this is the real area where we need professional help.

    Fear of company of any kind tends to be negatively reinforced. Spiralling anxiety continually deepens depression. The need for routine and sameness becomes more and more of a dependancy.  And seeking alcohol as an escape seems widely reported for autism.

    But you wont find this on the NAS web pages - either in About Autism or Living with Autism.

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