I have an older brother with asperger's who has been living independently now for over 5 years. My parents always thought it would never be possible for him to move away, accepting that he would never fully be independent.
At home things were hard for my parents and my younger brother and sister. I had been living away for some years and could look at the day to day struggles that my family faced, with sometimes violent outbursts. Going through a change in my own life around my mid-twenties I wanted to do something to help so I arranged it for my brother and I to find a house together so that he could learn to become independent which in turn would make things easier for the whole family.
After a year of living together I moved away. Since then my brother has lived with a few other people since, not as his carer but as equal tenants. He has acheived more than we could have hoped, but recently things have become a struggle.
My brother has never been able to hold down a job. Employers cannot empathise with him being on the spectrum, or understand the fact that he has a hidden disability. Also, with only low hours or zero-hour contracts available, which can have such an effect on his benefits going down to the poverty line, it has made it more beneficial for him not to work.
With wanting to work and not being able to find work, my brother has become more and more depressed. With this he has turned to alcohol on many occasions and binge drinking. He stays up late and sleeps in until 3. His life has become so difficult for him that he has even tried taking an overdose.
With his frustrations he has also started to have problems with his neighbours. He has played loud music when he has been drinking and smashed up his own furniture. His neighbours were at first concerned but have now become hostile towards him. He has received notes through his lettebox with 'weirdo' written on and has come home to bottles smashed in his drive. He has then retaliated by smashing eggs on windows.
With all this happening his landlord has given him one last chance for him to change his ways. His landlord has been fair so far, as in many respects he is a good tenant, paying his rent on times and keeping the house tidy, but with his neighbours complaining more often he says he has been given no choice.
The fact is, I know that this will happen again. My brothers frustrations will not go away nor will his inability to deal with them.
I don't know what to do to help but feel like I am the only persn that can. My parent's are having their own problems at the moment, as is my younger brother and my little sister has just given birth. What makes things more difficult is that I live over an hours drive away and have a demanding job.
I have spoken to my wife about possibly getting him to move closer to us where there are more job opportunities, more things to do and where I can be more a part of his life again. I just don' know where to start or who to speak to.
Thank you for reading,
Little big brother
