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advice needed...10 year old does not sleep? !

cupcakemum

Hello,

I am new to this forum. My 10 year old son has recently been diagnosed with ASD.

He has always been a poor sleeper and has never really gone through the night for any decent period of time. He used to come into our room every night and sleep on a mattress on the floor. It took a good 8 months or so of hard work but we got him falling asleep in his own bed and staying in it all night. It seems though with the change to year 6 at school he is very unsettled and now wakes from around 2am and constantly comes in my room. If I put him to bed again he's up before I've even left his room he shouts across the hallway waking his two brothers..One of which is only 10 months old.

I gave him the laptop in desperation the other night as between him and his brothers night feeds I'm sometimes getting 3 hours max sleep and I'm at my wits end. 

I thought that the laptop would calm him and he would fall asleep however he is up from 2am until morning watching films.

I'm not sure what to do? If he has the laptop at least everyone else can sleep. But if he doesn't have it he would be awake anyway calling out for hours. 

I've tried everything... This has been a long 8 years of no consistent sleep pattern ...he won't stay in bed if he's the only one awake. The laptop is the only thing that works but then he doesn't get any sleep for school.. I'm so confused and feel like a bad parent.

He takes melatonin at bedtime but this has no impact on sleeping through. .. any suggestions??

Thanks! 

  • Hello CupCakeMum,

    I'm new to this. But my health visitor recently informed me that melotonin is great for falling asleep, but doesn't keep children asleep all night. I'd Google some melotonin websites that are American... The general population seem to use it a lot there. I wish you luck. Lack of sleep: old method of torture, it works eh? All the best xx

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi,

    I'm an adult with ASD and sometimes suffer from sleep problems. I'm also a parent so know some of the issues of getting kids to sleep. 

    1) Does his bedroom have good curtains that are thick enough to keep his room dark even on a bright moonlit night? I have resorted to using blackout material from John Lewis that made a significant difference to me. We have just had a full moon so if this is relevant then he may go through phases each month where the light is enough to wake him up. Your original post on 25/10 was very close to full moon so I do wonder if this is a factor.

    2) Does he need to go to bed at 8:30? He is sleeping for 5 1/2 hours and then not sleeping very well. Have you tried letting him stay up longer and seeing if he then gets the same amount of sleep. Some people just need less sleep than others. If he sleeps as little as he does then is he tired and irritable during the day or is he actually OK?

    3) Do you have good routines in place before and during sleep times? Does he have an hour of calming down, quiet time before bed? Do you read him a story, does he read to you?

    4) How do you react to him shouting etc when he wakes in the night? Do you give him an unrewarding silent and calm response or do words get exchanged?

  • Hello,

    Now he has melatonin he does get to sleep like a dream. We also have a very strict bedtime routine that has to be done exactly the same every evening. 

    So he sleeps roughly 8.30 until 2 am ish.... then up for the night. 

    Unfortunately due to him waking up his other two brothers or shouting and constantly waking myself and my hubby who needs sleep for work the next day I find it hard not to stress. After 8 years I don't think me relaxing will be all it takes. 

    I have spoken to his doctor countless times about it and they have given us phenergans but it's such a harsh medicine. 

    I'm waiting for his paediatrician to call me back. 

    Just wondered what others do with nocturnal children....

  • I'm not a professional, and I think you need to talk to a proffesional about this.

    In the meanwhile though: am I right in thinking he does actually sleep before waking and using the laptop?  Also you don't say when he goes to bed or how long he's sleeping before that.

    If he is sleeping beforehand my instinct would be to let him have the laptop.  It may be that he's sleeping as much as he needs to, especially if he doesn't seem sleepy during the day. Not everyone has the same need for sleep.  It's also possible that stopping making an issue of it will mean less stress and him sleeping for longer!