6 year old boy

thsnkyou, I'm still a bit lost with it all but getting there, why do they have to restrain him at school so much, he hates to be held when he is upset and it makes him worse. They have got emergency funding from armed forces so he is going to have a ta full time which is good and camhs have told us they have pushed him to next on the list to be seen as I got the go to write a letter. It may be janbefore he is seen but better than up to 18 months. His behaviour is so frustrating, he is a wonderful boy but he gets upset and the silliest of things and goes out of control.

thankyou for you support

Hey hugs to you.  When my eldest was 7 the school began having problems with her too.  She wasn't running away but was so anxious she would spend sometimes a whole DAY sat outside the headmistresses office crying, unable to eat or drink all day, sick and diarrhoea with fear over certain noises, or things people had said, or tiny things that had happened.  She also, when in an okay mood, would fall off or jump out of her seat every 3 minutes, constantly dream or chatter and could only sit still if she was literally writhing with anxiety with the stress it caused her.

I called the GP and she was referred to CAMHS.  Initially i was told it'd be a 3 month wait (a lot quicker than yours by the sounds of it).  She was self-harming at the time (hitting her own face, ripping her own hair out, biting her own hands) so i phoned CAMHS and told them so!  I called twice, the first time to say she was self-harming and couldn't wait for her referral, and the second to say we would take a cancellation at ANY time, day or night.  We were seen after only 2 weeks so it was worth doing this.

Services vary i think.  I'm in scotland and our CAMHS service first did a "choice" appointment where you bring the kid and discuss the issues and they decide if your referral to them was appropriate (some kids end up there due to the manifestation of a physical problem - they are referred back to the community paed).  We were deemed to be in the right place and assessment began.  I'm not going to lie, it takes AGES!  We were assigned an Occupational Therapist who took a full history (which took 7 hours over 6 appointments), they then sent out questionnaires to us, her dad (we're separated), and the school, and then she was seen two more times.  We got her diagnosis after 17 months, of ASD (asperger's type) and ADHD.

Now, once she had been seen ONCE by CAMHS i went to the school and said "she's now being seen by CAMHS and they say it could be autism or it could be adhd or it could be sensory processing disorder and they're going to assess her" and the school began to act accordingly (they didn't wait for the formal diagnosis).  CAMHS offered me help with behavioural things DURING assessment and went out to the school twice and offered THEM advice too.  DD's life improved dramatically long before the diagnosis because of this.

We have been very lucky i think, with CAMHS and with the school.  But the main thing i would say is don't be scared to get in there and talk to people, nag them, arm yourself with info and share it.  I recently had to go into the school following my DD getting into trouble because she was fiddling with her pencil and the teacher gave her "a look" (which she can't see/interpret and didn't respond to) and was then regarded as insolent and had the pencil confiscated!  I had to go in and say "please use clear, verbal instructions, she can't see "the look"!" and they have done so ever since.  I am on first name terms with the teachers, the head, the deputy head and the senco (special educational needs coordinator).  You can go into the school and ask them "what if this is autism, what protocols do you have in place?  How do you help other autistic pupils in this school?".  Be friendly, be interested, but be firm.  I know the school find me a nag at times, but i'd rather be TOO involved than not enough.  Don't feel inferior to them - you and they share the desire for your son to get a good education and have a happy time at school but YOU know him best and YOU bear the ultimate responsibility for him.  My DD's school have responded really positively to my communication and efforts.

I remember how i felt when i was where you are, i know it feels really scary.  I felt i was totally out of my depth - all of these "wee quirks" she'd always had were suddenly adding up into a massive unknown monster i couldn't get my arms around at all.  I felt like i could never be the mum she needed.  But you know what, i can.  You can too.  It is scary and difficult at times but she is the same baby that tumbled and kicked in my belly and he is the same sweet newborn you got handed the day he was born.  We are just learning more about them.  Yes, it's scary, but you're not alone, so many of us out here have been or are going through it.  It might not always be easy but it will be okay.