My son will not use the toilet in school!!!!!

I dont know if they will let him use another toilet luv, im not even sure if they have a disabled toilet or not, im going to have to ask the senco, we have only just started getting him in the odd toilet outside but not much and hes started peeing in the bath at home or anywhere in the garden.

I only discovered he wasnt going to the toilet in school by accident, hed had a poorly tmmy and i asled him if hed been to the toilet at school to which he said no then i asked the next day and he said no again then realised i need to ask about this everyday.

I then found out he was probably going once in months,which i realised is no good, im wondering if starting to be a phobia or just something that our children go through?

I amy ask if an adult can take him at a quiet time, i have an appointment ith the senco at the beggining of October.

It just makes me wonder how long this has actually been going on?

I felt the same when I was first at primary school and just would not use the toilets. The partitions between cubicles as well as the doors did not reach the floor or the ceiling and I could not reach the handle to hold the door shut when on the loo. All of this felt too unsafe and exposed and I was terrified to use the toilets. Could he be allowed to use a toilet that is fully enclosed?

I have tried talking to him he just says about the doors and people looking in but i am not sure it is that because ofthe problem of avoidance at outside toilets.

See i diddnt realise it was such a common problem, hes always been petrified of hand dryers,this is why he wont use a toilet outside of home,the ones in the school toilets are really low, so i wouldnt have thought it would bother him so much, i have a meeting with the senco soon so i will discuss it with her and see what she says, im sure it cant be healthy.

My son was the same and would hold it from 8am - 4pm! I use to worry that he was harming himself, but he seemed to be able to hold it for ages!! 

Hes now confident to use the toilets at school and asks for help as he's unable to get his pants and trousers up on his own. Perhaps your son has worries such as wiping, getting trousers up and down and is shy to ask for help. Perhaps try talking to him to see if there is anything worrying him x

I could never use school toilets - even now in VI form I'll only use the set furthest from anywhere people gather, and if I think there's somebody already there, I have to leave.

For me it's a whole minefield - from the sudden noise of dryers (even the quiet ones), strong smells (I used to have a strong aversion of the smell of some disinfectants) and claustrophobic environments which are either very dark or dazzlingly bright plus the compulsory light that flickers and goes off without warning. And of course I didn't understand how you were supposed to use them for thier intended purpose while other people were in the room and still get very nervous.

Perhaps you could discuss this with the school; disabled toilets are often more private and cleaner, so he may find using those less of an ordeal? 

If you're being bullied toilets are the worst possible places to get picked on - when you are at a disadvantage and may not be able to walk away. As one who was constantly bullied for being odd, from primary through to secondary, the risks still haunt me.

Also whether related to bullying or other factors, a lot of people on the spectrum find it difficult to relax in a toilet, sufficiently to perform that is. The smell, claustrophobic feelings, other people around all create tension which prevents bodily function.

I had this difficulty acutely until my forties, and it took ages to get over it. It is still a problem if I need to queue or there are lots of people around. As a teenager I'd hang on simply because there was no way I could use school facilities.Or I'd try to find one out of the way not often used.

Those driers that scream - dysons and such like - I'm just getting started and they switch off the preparedness again. It is a really big nightmare if I'm using motorway service stations, as often the cubicles are full.

It has been discussed on here before