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Struggling dad

Willis800

Hi everyone, just want to introduce myself, my name is Darren and I have three children, my middle child Harrison is autistic and it is proving to be more of a challenge than I ever could have thought, all I ever wanted was a little boy who can be my best friend,play football with have a laugh with and generally do the things all guys want to do with their boys, I know this is not possible with Harry as he doesn't understand and gets upset in social situations. In fact he is sad or cross most of the time and frankly it is starting to make me depressed, I love my boy so much but he is really hard work and sometimes my two girls really have a hard time with him, wish I knew how to make them all happy .

  • Hi Darren,

    Browsing through the discussions on here and came across yours. You posted in September so may already have found support from local groups. My husband has a child with Autism, he is now in his mid twenties (the son, not my husband) and it has been challenging over the years. I think if my husband discussed issues more, he would probably admit to having felt the same way you do. It is difficult not being able to have a 'regular' relationship with a child that is somewhere on the specturm. I'm not sure how long ago your child was diagnosed or how old he is? But do try and seek support from local support groups, contacting your Local Authority/ Council may be able to pinpoint support for parents in similar situation ( if that's what you want). If your child is school age, the school may be able to help you out here. Some of the things you talked about wanting to do with Harrison, may be possible in the future, it just may take a little longer and involve a few different strategies but you may be able to enjoy father/son activities, they may just be on a different level and to a different degree than what you were expecting. I guess it's all about learning how to manage things and that comes with time and support. Stay positive.

  • Hi Darren. I hear you! Rowan my eight year old son was diganosed on Friday with ADHD and Autism, I'm quite emotional as the gap is getting wider with his peers and he is generally becoming harder to manage. His melt downs are just getting less acceptable now and I look like a crap parent. Rowan does excel at individual sports like swimming, boxing, tennis, sailing and so I am frantically signing him up for lots of things. Don't get depressed, take action by setting yourself a goal, depending on his age. Football just might not be his thing but what about something he may like, like chess, running, swimming?? I get depressed thinking about him being bullied but it hasnt happened yet and I need to stop stressing about things that havent happened and may not happen. Stay strong!!