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autism violence please help

tommymum92

 My little boy who's 4 has just fallen back to sleep while I'm sat here in floods of tears.

Another night that he's woken up hysterical and to put it bluntly beat the crap out of me.

Without warning he will just wake up screaming bloody murder and completely lay into me kicking punching slapping, there's no reasoning, no stopping, I just have to sit and take it until he finally gets it out of his system.. which usually takes hours.

I love my son with all my heart, but I'm completely terrified of him, I know you'll all think I'm crazy being scared of a four year old child, but he's so big for his age and has so much strength in him he seriously hurts me every single day, we could be sitting playing with his favourite blocks and all of a sudden out of nowhere he will punch me in the face, I'm completely overwhelmed and scared, I'm a single mum with not much of a support system, my mum and dad help when they can but he lashes out at them too and it's horrific, my beautiful little baby kicking my mum in the face, punching my dad in his ribs, it's mortifying. 

I've asked for help from his paediatrician and we get no where, all we get is referrals that never come to anything. He's non verbal and when he gets into his rage there's no calming him, he just attacks

Please someone, anyone just give me some help/advice please!!!

I don't want to be scared of my little baby anymore

Parents

  • My daughter used to attack me when she was small. I cannot remember exactly how old she was now, it is a long time ago, but I think no more than 3. It developed from birth. If upset, she could wave her arms and legs like windmills, battering everyone in range.

    She hated having her nappy changed, most of the time. I often had to change her using a changing mat on the floor. I put my leg across her chest, crooked so that she was not squashed, then changed her nappy. She was held down with her arms free to pummell my leg. As she got older, tantrums were horrendous. She hit and kicked anyone in range. If I held her, she tried to poke her fingers in my eyes. I was advised that she needed TLC. I tried putting her alone in her bedroom, but she flung herself repeatedly at the door until I went in again, very quickly.

    I ended up restraining her. I used to try and get hold from a position where she could not hurt me, and just held her gently but firmly until the "tantrum" subsided.

    I think that she completely lost control and became frightened. My restraining hold helped her feel that I was in control. I think it was a panicked frenzy, rather than a tantrum. It is hard to remember the detail now. She grew out of it, with time.

    Panic can make someone very strong. Would you be able to get hold of him from behind, or pull him very close and bury your face against his body so that he cannot attack that. Feet and hands need space to have impact. The closer you get, the less force he can muster. I am not sure if this will help, but fear is a terrible thing and if you can get close and hold him tightly but softly, he may feel comforted.

    Best wishes and if you cannot help him, do keep pestering your GP. If you are bruised, show your GP. They must not ignore a situation like this.

Reply

  • My daughter used to attack me when she was small. I cannot remember exactly how old she was now, it is a long time ago, but I think no more than 3. It developed from birth. If upset, she could wave her arms and legs like windmills, battering everyone in range.

    She hated having her nappy changed, most of the time. I often had to change her using a changing mat on the floor. I put my leg across her chest, crooked so that she was not squashed, then changed her nappy. She was held down with her arms free to pummell my leg. As she got older, tantrums were horrendous. She hit and kicked anyone in range. If I held her, she tried to poke her fingers in my eyes. I was advised that she needed TLC. I tried putting her alone in her bedroom, but she flung herself repeatedly at the door until I went in again, very quickly.

    I ended up restraining her. I used to try and get hold from a position where she could not hurt me, and just held her gently but firmly until the "tantrum" subsided.

    I think that she completely lost control and became frightened. My restraining hold helped her feel that I was in control. I think it was a panicked frenzy, rather than a tantrum. It is hard to remember the detail now. She grew out of it, with time.

    Panic can make someone very strong. Would you be able to get hold of him from behind, or pull him very close and bury your face against his body so that he cannot attack that. Feet and hands need space to have impact. The closer you get, the less force he can muster. I am not sure if this will help, but fear is a terrible thing and if you can get close and hold him tightly but softly, he may feel comforted.

    Best wishes and if you cannot help him, do keep pestering your GP. If you are bruised, show your GP. They must not ignore a situation like this.

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