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Really struggling

tommymum92

Hi, this is my first time on this site so I'm really hoping I can get some support.

I'm a young single mum to a 4 and a half year old son with severe autism. I really don't have much of a support system, my mum and dad help out when they can but to be honest they're really struggling with my sons behaviour too.

The summer holidays are really taking its toll on both me and my son, his behaviour has gotten so much worse.His temper is awful and he hits me all of the time, I really don't like to admit it but I'm not coping well at all, the nights aren't good at all right now he's regressed back to sleeping in my bed and he wakes 9/10 times a night and gets very angry and hits and kicks me. I've told DS's paediatrician about it but all we get is referrals that we never hear from again, he has been truly let down by his health care professionals he's non verbal and we've had one speech therapy appointment since his diagnosis in 2013, I've chased down appointments and we just get told were 'on the list' and when we finally got an appointment in January we sat through it telling them everything for an hour and 20 minutes only to be told the woman I was speaking to 'doesn't deal with autism'.

I'm really at the end of my tether,I'm sorry for the long rant, I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself but I really have no one to speak to, I've really never felt so alone.

I'm hoping this post will give me some support/advice that I desperately need.

Thank you so much in advance 

Parents

  • Hi

    Cluck78 -Your son is most likely very scared by new situations, youi don't need me to tell you that! Perhaps before going to the beach or for a pizza you could describe to him in detail what will happen on the trip before you leave the house - how you will get there, where he will sit in the car, the route you'll take etc. Help him to imagine himself there, get him to tell you what he will find difficult or unbearable. Start this several days before the trip and go over it a few times with him until he understands and can repeat it all back to you. Then stick to the plan exactly. Sorry if you already do this, not meaning to patronise.

    I don't think he can help his behaviour so a consequence might not be appropriate. If your child was blind you wouldn't punish him for falling over a table. However i know from experience that this causes trouble with siblings and they can find it hard when they see the autistic child doing things they would be punished for. Its difficult to understand that this isn't naughtiness - its a coping strategy to deal with terror.

    Not all of us think of ourselves as sufferers. Its not easy but I wouldn't be any other way given the choice.

Reply

  • Hi

    Cluck78 -Your son is most likely very scared by new situations, youi don't need me to tell you that! Perhaps before going to the beach or for a pizza you could describe to him in detail what will happen on the trip before you leave the house - how you will get there, where he will sit in the car, the route you'll take etc. Help him to imagine himself there, get him to tell you what he will find difficult or unbearable. Start this several days before the trip and go over it a few times with him until he understands and can repeat it all back to you. Then stick to the plan exactly. Sorry if you already do this, not meaning to patronise.

    I don't think he can help his behaviour so a consequence might not be appropriate. If your child was blind you wouldn't punish him for falling over a table. However i know from experience that this causes trouble with siblings and they can find it hard when they see the autistic child doing things they would be punished for. Its difficult to understand that this isn't naughtiness - its a coping strategy to deal with terror.

    Not all of us think of ourselves as sufferers. Its not easy but I wouldn't be any other way given the choice.

Children
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