Really struggling

Hi

I'm Mum to a gorgeous son who is going through the process of being diagnosed with autism.  This is taking forever, we've been raising concerns since he was four and he's now nearly 10.  His behaviour suddenly changed from "a quirky dinosaur lover" as his teachers have always said, to seriously unhappy last Sept.  Finally school listened to us and got the school Doc in at the start of May.  She was fab and agreed 100% there were strong grounds for our concerns, which she shared.  We are told it could take until Jan for him to see all the professionals required.  

He presents very mildly at school and holds it together until he gets in the car.  In his class of 24 he has 1 child with statement for ASD, 2 children with disabilities, then 2 children without statements who have recently been diagnosed with ADHA and emotional difficulties.  From Sept he will be mixed with additional children and this will include another child with ADHD, the class will then be 30 children.  He responds well to the strategies that they have in place to meet the other children's needs, but as yet they are unwilling to put any strategies in place for him (or us!) as he's yet to be diagnosed.  Also, in Sept he'll be in a classroom with less adults, just 1 teacher and TA, in a brand new classroom which is due to be finished next week, which he obviously hasn't seen yet. I'm sure that other people have worse situations but I am struggling to see how he will cope in Y5 with the current class/staff ratio situation.  Am I right to be concerned?

I feel like we are absolutley unsupported at the moment and our whole family unit is struggling to cope.  I work as a SEN TA myself and I am running out of strategies.  Our recent holiday was the major low point.  He's been anxious about going but I did all I could think of to make this easier for him, he helped plan the route, he investigated well in advance of the trip, we were going somewhere we've been before so I hoped he'd be ok.  He was far from it.  

The normal triggers for his behaviour changes are eating out or day trips but it's managable at home.  He took his increasing aggression to the next level and I was stunned at what he did and said.  Simply trying to drive to a local beach one day he bit my husband, pulled his sister's hair, dug his nails into me and explained in detail how he'd like to kill me. Once in the car he took his belt off and sat on the floor.  He then poured a bottle of water over the floor of the car and spat at his siblings.  Once all this had been addressed and we actually got to the beach, he was lovely and had a great time.  Going out for a meal at a pizza place we'd passed by several times was also a nightmare.  He actually threatened to kill himself over and over again and hid at the bottom of a cupboard in the fetal position when the time came to leave.  It took an hour to calm him down.  

I don't know what to do when he refuses to leave the house or go out.  I'm so emtionally invloved I can't think straight anymore.  Clearly he needs a concequnce once he's calm but I just don't know what to do with a kicking, spitting child who is plotting my death.  Should I give in and accept it's too much and not go out if it's avoidable?  Should I decipline him during the epoisode or afterwards?  Is this change in behaviour grounds for a CAMHS appointment?  How do I request this?

Major positives I suppose are his triggers are becoming easier to spot.  We have also arranged some private equine therapy for him from Sept which I hope will help him.  

Any advice would be fab.

Cluck 

Hi

I'm Mum to a gorgeous son who is going through the process of being diagnosed with autism.  This is taking forever, we've been raising concerns since he was four and he's now nearly 10.  His behaviour suddenly changed from "a quirky dinosaur lover" as his teachers have always said, to seriously unhappy last Sept.  Finally school listened to us and got the school Doc in at the start of May.  She was fab and agreed 100% there were strong grounds for our concerns, which she shared.  We are told it could take until Jan for him to see all the professionals required.  

He presents very mildly at school and holds it together until he gets in the car.  In his class of 24 he has 1 child with statement for ASD, 2 children with disabilities, then 2 children without statements who have recently been diagnosed with ADHA and emotional difficulties.  From Sept he will be mixed with additional children and this will include another child with ADHD, the class will then be 30 children.  He responds well to the strategies that they have in place to meet the other children's needs, but as yet they are unwilling to put any strategies in place for him (or us!) as he's yet to be diagnosed.  Also, in Sept he'll be in a classroom with less adults, just 1 teacher and TA, in a brand new classroom which is due to be finished next week, which he obviously hasn't seen yet. I'm sure that other people have worse situations but I am struggling to see how he will cope in Y5 with the current class/staff ratio situation.  Am I right to be concerned?

I feel like we are absolutley unsupported at the moment and our whole family unit is struggling to cope.  I work as a SEN TA myself and I am running out of strategies.  Our recent holiday was the major low point.  He's been anxious about going but I did all I could think of to make this easier for him, he helped plan the route, he investigated well in advance of the trip, we were going somewhere we've been before so I hoped he'd be ok.  He was far from it.  

The normal triggers for his behaviour changes are eating out or day trips but it's managable at home.  He took his increasing aggression to the next level and I was stunned at what he did and said.  Simply trying to drive to a local beach one day he bit my husband, pulled his sister's hair, dug his nails into me and explained in detail how he'd like to kill me. Once in the car he took his belt off and sat on the floor.  He then poured a bottle of water over the floor of the car and spat at his siblings.  Once all this had been addressed and we actually got to the beach, he was lovely and had a great time.  Going out for a meal at a pizza place we'd passed by several times was also a nightmare.  He actually threatened to kill himself over and over again and hid at the bottom of a cupboard in the fetal position when the time came to leave.  It took an hour to calm him down.  

I don't know what to do when he refuses to leave the house or go out.  I'm so emtionally invloved I can't think straight anymore.  Clearly he needs a concequnce once he's calm but I just don't know what to do with a kicking, spitting child who is plotting my death.  Should I give in and accept it's too much and not go out if it's avoidable?  Should I decipline him during the epoisode or afterwards?  Is this change in behaviour grounds for a CAMHS appointment?  How do I request this?

Major positives I suppose are his triggers are becoming easier to spot.  We have also arranged some private equine therapy for him from Sept which I hope will help him.  

Any advice would be fab.

Cluck