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CAMHS referral for anxiety for daughter

StrawberryMilkshake

Hi, I wasn't sure which section to put this in so I hope this one is ok. I've always felt my daughter may be on the autistic spectrum. When she was a toddler she would have meltdowns over things such as she used to pile her teddies (she had about 30 which she HAD to have in her cot with her) in a specific way at the end of her cot. She'd have a total screaming meltdown if one slipped out of place. She was never imaginative as a little one - instead preferred to line her cars/animals/soft toys up around the house. Often having 30 toys in a row across the floor and would take the last one and put it to the front of the queue, and keep doing that until she had moved them all the way from the front room, up the stairs and into her bedroom.

She also used to get a dice and put her toys into teams. Then she'd roll the dice for each team and write down their score. This was from only 2 or 3 yrs old.

Anyway, this type of play carried on through her life. Over the years she has had episodes of severe anxiety - the worst one resulting in her being unable to get into school much at all over four months. I mention aspergers/autism to the school who looked at me as if I'd lost the plot! After seeing various paediatricians and having to change our GP (due to them accusing her of putting it all on!) finally our new GP referred her to CAMHS to help her with her anxiety and depression. (She had been in tears virtually all day every day for around 4mths) but CAMHS rejected her referral. By this time she appeared to be coming out the other side. In fact, she turned into the most confident and happy little girl. This has lasted for almost 3yrs now. However, just recently she's begun to let her anxiety take over again and it's started to affect her life. I've spoken to her new school (she's 12 now and has just finished Yr 7) who have been very supportive so far (MUCH more so than her primary school!) who recommended we approached the GP again but to return to them if we are rejected again.

Now, the referral is for her anxiety. I haven't mentioned ASD as to be honest, I sometimes think my mind is just looking for a reason for her anxiety.. but then when I think back to what she was like as a young child (and is still - although not as extreme) I think it is a possibility.

However, she has a close circle of friends and I know the social aspect is often difficult for people with ASD. She's not great with strangers but if thrown into a situation (such as in school) she does seem to make friends ok and always has a group of friends that she adores.

Over all of her life she's not been great with change - as a toddler you HAD to make sure she had plenty of warning if you were going to change the plan of the day or if she had to leave the park etc. You couldn't just say that we were going. That would result in total meltdown. She still goes a bit to pieces with change although she can deal with it a bit better now - unless course its change where she's not able to do what she wanted to do - then it's a meltdown! Her meltdowns result in huge anger and screaming and crying which can last an hour or two (or more on very bad occasins). Also, when she's anxious she bangs her knuckles together and claps loudly.

Sorry for the huge waffle. I guess what I wanted to ask was, if CAMHS do accept her referral and we finally get to see them. Would I be able to mention my suspicion of ASD? Or would that have to be a separate referral? She displays no signs of ASD anywhere but at home so I can't imagine anyone would believe me anyway. The only thing she displays elsewhere is her anxiety.

I'm also worried what she will think if she knows I suspect ASD. She's already hugely stressed about why she's so different (in that she suffers with such bad anxiety when no one else she knows appears to suffer from it).

Anyone who "gets" what I'm talking about or any advice regarding CAMHS etc I'd be really grateful. It feels quite isolating sometimes as friends/family don't really understand because she rarely displays all this in front of them so I think they think I'm over exaggerating her reactions. Thank you in advance. x

Parents

  • I've read of situations where it can be alright in primary school in that people can form a fairly constant circle of friends with school life the common element.

    Problems arise in secondary because moving on changes the contacts for all the members of the original circle, but also peer attitudes start to show up those that are different, and that starts to isolate the person with autism, even if they weren't isolated in primary school.

    But it is always important to observe carefully the nature of friendships - are there compensations for your daughter's difficulties that override this - great coming round your place where there's a bigger telly or more toys etc?

    It is sometimes observed that people on the spectrum who appear to form friendships are to some extent exploited, or accepted because there are fringe benefits. However in teenage years the divisive factor is difference, as everyone else is pressured to conform.

    You say she is aware of being different. Is that being pointed out to her?

    Bullying at school can be grave for people on the spectrum, but it isn't conventional bullying therefore isn't so readily detected. It is often rejection, isolation, name calling and other ways of stating you're different. But it can also involve taking unfair advantage of lack of social skills, and making entertainment of the disability. Young people dont readily take on the notion of disability hate crime, but it is something young people pick up from their families - comments about disabled people on TV, or people in the neighbourhood mistrusted because they appear to have a mental health problem. Kids will pick up on that and be astonishingly cruel to the "different" kid.

    If she is becoming more aware of her difference, it is important to find out if other kids are making that difference obvious.

Reply

  • I've read of situations where it can be alright in primary school in that people can form a fairly constant circle of friends with school life the common element.

    Problems arise in secondary because moving on changes the contacts for all the members of the original circle, but also peer attitudes start to show up those that are different, and that starts to isolate the person with autism, even if they weren't isolated in primary school.

    But it is always important to observe carefully the nature of friendships - are there compensations for your daughter's difficulties that override this - great coming round your place where there's a bigger telly or more toys etc?

    It is sometimes observed that people on the spectrum who appear to form friendships are to some extent exploited, or accepted because there are fringe benefits. However in teenage years the divisive factor is difference, as everyone else is pressured to conform.

    You say she is aware of being different. Is that being pointed out to her?

    Bullying at school can be grave for people on the spectrum, but it isn't conventional bullying therefore isn't so readily detected. It is often rejection, isolation, name calling and other ways of stating you're different. But it can also involve taking unfair advantage of lack of social skills, and making entertainment of the disability. Young people dont readily take on the notion of disability hate crime, but it is something young people pick up from their families - comments about disabled people on TV, or people in the neighbourhood mistrusted because they appear to have a mental health problem. Kids will pick up on that and be astonishingly cruel to the "different" kid.

    If she is becoming more aware of her difference, it is important to find out if other kids are making that difference obvious.

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