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CAMHS referral for anxiety for daughter

StrawberryMilkshake

Hi, I wasn't sure which section to put this in so I hope this one is ok. I've always felt my daughter may be on the autistic spectrum. When she was a toddler she would have meltdowns over things such as she used to pile her teddies (she had about 30 which she HAD to have in her cot with her) in a specific way at the end of her cot. She'd have a total screaming meltdown if one slipped out of place. She was never imaginative as a little one - instead preferred to line her cars/animals/soft toys up around the house. Often having 30 toys in a row across the floor and would take the last one and put it to the front of the queue, and keep doing that until she had moved them all the way from the front room, up the stairs and into her bedroom.

She also used to get a dice and put her toys into teams. Then she'd roll the dice for each team and write down their score. This was from only 2 or 3 yrs old.

Anyway, this type of play carried on through her life. Over the years she has had episodes of severe anxiety - the worst one resulting in her being unable to get into school much at all over four months. I mention aspergers/autism to the school who looked at me as if I'd lost the plot! After seeing various paediatricians and having to change our GP (due to them accusing her of putting it all on!) finally our new GP referred her to CAMHS to help her with her anxiety and depression. (She had been in tears virtually all day every day for around 4mths) but CAMHS rejected her referral. By this time she appeared to be coming out the other side. In fact, she turned into the most confident and happy little girl. This has lasted for almost 3yrs now. However, just recently she's begun to let her anxiety take over again and it's started to affect her life. I've spoken to her new school (she's 12 now and has just finished Yr 7) who have been very supportive so far (MUCH more so than her primary school!) who recommended we approached the GP again but to return to them if we are rejected again.

Now, the referral is for her anxiety. I haven't mentioned ASD as to be honest, I sometimes think my mind is just looking for a reason for her anxiety.. but then when I think back to what she was like as a young child (and is still - although not as extreme) I think it is a possibility.

However, she has a close circle of friends and I know the social aspect is often difficult for people with ASD. She's not great with strangers but if thrown into a situation (such as in school) she does seem to make friends ok and always has a group of friends that she adores.

Over all of her life she's not been great with change - as a toddler you HAD to make sure she had plenty of warning if you were going to change the plan of the day or if she had to leave the park etc. You couldn't just say that we were going. That would result in total meltdown. She still goes a bit to pieces with change although she can deal with it a bit better now - unless course its change where she's not able to do what she wanted to do - then it's a meltdown! Her meltdowns result in huge anger and screaming and crying which can last an hour or two (or more on very bad occasins). Also, when she's anxious she bangs her knuckles together and claps loudly.

Sorry for the huge waffle. I guess what I wanted to ask was, if CAMHS do accept her referral and we finally get to see them. Would I be able to mention my suspicion of ASD? Or would that have to be a separate referral? She displays no signs of ASD anywhere but at home so I can't imagine anyone would believe me anyway. The only thing she displays elsewhere is her anxiety.

I'm also worried what she will think if she knows I suspect ASD. She's already hugely stressed about why she's so different (in that she suffers with such bad anxiety when no one else she knows appears to suffer from it).

Anyone who "gets" what I'm talking about or any advice regarding CAMHS etc I'd be really grateful. It feels quite isolating sometimes as friends/family don't really understand because she rarely displays all this in front of them so I think they think I'm over exaggerating her reactions. Thank you in advance. x

Parents

  • What a bind! You decsribe AS behaviours, but it seems that no-one else has shared your observations. It seems that this is fairly typical of girls because they are notoriously difficult to diagnose because girls are more adept at 'hiding' (i.e 'camouflaging') their difficulties - quite a skill, if you think about it!

    I was interested to hear you say that she always has a group of friends that she adores. You say that in a way that makes me think she is rather intense with those relationships. Through discussion with others on here, I've found that girls are able to 'hide' in social groups. It makes sense to me that she would 'cling' to the safety of hiding in such a group, and that would indicate that she is closely copying their behaviour, and that's a favourite 'camouflage' tactic.

    But I'm a bloke and we don't do the same (I think) so any ladies care to comment?

    There are aspects to her behaviour that suggest ASD, but I think I should caution you that there are other conditions that mimic some traits of ASD. This is often a difficulty with diagnosis, in the young especially, it seems.

    CAMHS are not usually best placed to spot it but will often suggest that a full assessment is indicated. They are bound to ask you about her behaviour and that's your opportunity to tell them the examples that you've given here, but I would caution you to keep your interpretation to yourself and let them consider her case before you offer your opinion, unless, of course, they ask the direct question. I think they often bridle at a layperson doing their job - but then they're only human too. Let them suggest their own possible diagnosis first, and then there's something you can discuss and agree or disagree with.

    Your daughter already appears to have some internal struggle with herself that you don't know the details of. I don't like that you think of ASD as a 'bad' thing, although I understand your natural parental concern. It's because you are part of normal NT society and this is how ASD is thought of - I don't wonder that you have this impression. I want to assure you that it is far from being a 'bad' thing and actually gettting a diagnosis can be hugely beneficial in explaining to your daughter all the differences that make her who she is.

    There's no harm in our repeating this message, if she is a normal AS person, then as far as she and we are concerned, your daughter is perfectly normal, just different.

    I'm sorry you are suffering these frustrations because of your natural and loving concern for your daughter, we are all anxious about our children because of these difficulties with getting a diagnosis. It's frustrating, you're often made to feel like a 'fussy' parent, or one trying to make 'excuses' - all sorts of lazy ways to fob you off because generally, they can't be bothered. So called professionals often display a number of antagonistic attitudes that do nothing to help - we get angry about that!

    It's time that Doctors, schools etc realised that if you have concerns, they should make the extra effort to listen. Given that ASD is difficult to diagnose, and given that parents are most likely to have concerns because they see their child in its' 'natural' behavioural state. If you have other children, or even compare your own child with other people's children, then your concerns are clearly justified - it's getting an explanation for them.

    Do bear in mind that it is our natural propensity to be protective of our children, and that sometimes we see far more in their behaviours than is really there, especially when doing a 'diagnosis' over the internet. This is normal behaviour, so if you rethink your daughter with this thought in mind (am I an overly protective parent, just like everyone else?) and it doesn't raise doubts in your mind, you can answer anyone who throws this at you, and you'll have the courage of your convictions.

    We will absolutely support you in your quest to get answers, but don't forget to call the Helpline. Good luck to you all Smile

Reply

  • What a bind! You decsribe AS behaviours, but it seems that no-one else has shared your observations. It seems that this is fairly typical of girls because they are notoriously difficult to diagnose because girls are more adept at 'hiding' (i.e 'camouflaging') their difficulties - quite a skill, if you think about it!

    I was interested to hear you say that she always has a group of friends that she adores. You say that in a way that makes me think she is rather intense with those relationships. Through discussion with others on here, I've found that girls are able to 'hide' in social groups. It makes sense to me that she would 'cling' to the safety of hiding in such a group, and that would indicate that she is closely copying their behaviour, and that's a favourite 'camouflage' tactic.

    But I'm a bloke and we don't do the same (I think) so any ladies care to comment?

    There are aspects to her behaviour that suggest ASD, but I think I should caution you that there are other conditions that mimic some traits of ASD. This is often a difficulty with diagnosis, in the young especially, it seems.

    CAMHS are not usually best placed to spot it but will often suggest that a full assessment is indicated. They are bound to ask you about her behaviour and that's your opportunity to tell them the examples that you've given here, but I would caution you to keep your interpretation to yourself and let them consider her case before you offer your opinion, unless, of course, they ask the direct question. I think they often bridle at a layperson doing their job - but then they're only human too. Let them suggest their own possible diagnosis first, and then there's something you can discuss and agree or disagree with.

    Your daughter already appears to have some internal struggle with herself that you don't know the details of. I don't like that you think of ASD as a 'bad' thing, although I understand your natural parental concern. It's because you are part of normal NT society and this is how ASD is thought of - I don't wonder that you have this impression. I want to assure you that it is far from being a 'bad' thing and actually gettting a diagnosis can be hugely beneficial in explaining to your daughter all the differences that make her who she is.

    There's no harm in our repeating this message, if she is a normal AS person, then as far as she and we are concerned, your daughter is perfectly normal, just different.

    I'm sorry you are suffering these frustrations because of your natural and loving concern for your daughter, we are all anxious about our children because of these difficulties with getting a diagnosis. It's frustrating, you're often made to feel like a 'fussy' parent, or one trying to make 'excuses' - all sorts of lazy ways to fob you off because generally, they can't be bothered. So called professionals often display a number of antagonistic attitudes that do nothing to help - we get angry about that!

    It's time that Doctors, schools etc realised that if you have concerns, they should make the extra effort to listen. Given that ASD is difficult to diagnose, and given that parents are most likely to have concerns because they see their child in its' 'natural' behavioural state. If you have other children, or even compare your own child with other people's children, then your concerns are clearly justified - it's getting an explanation for them.

    Do bear in mind that it is our natural propensity to be protective of our children, and that sometimes we see far more in their behaviours than is really there, especially when doing a 'diagnosis' over the internet. This is normal behaviour, so if you rethink your daughter with this thought in mind (am I an overly protective parent, just like everyone else?) and it doesn't raise doubts in your mind, you can answer anyone who throws this at you, and you'll have the courage of your convictions.

    We will absolutely support you in your quest to get answers, but don't forget to call the Helpline. Good luck to you all Smile

Children
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