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Help advice needed for court action

hopeful

 
My 15 yr old aspergers son started a new school in September last year after a move across the country.  The problem we have is that he has taken the move very badly, this has been compounded by the fact that he has been unable to settle at his new school.  In hindsight I can now see that this was completely the wrong provision for him.  

he has been very low and very angry and has been self-harming and threatening suicide because he has been so unhappy. This is mainly because he is so unhappy at
school and so our efforts to get him there have been met with him barricading
himself in his room and refusing to go, as you can imagine it has been an
extremely stressful time.  We have finally got him into counselling, but there
is also a police investigation going on into a case of grooming from an older man against him.

The problem we have is that court proceedings have begun against us for non/low attendance of school - I really can't believe this that after one meeting they can do that.  no help has been offered.  In the report there is no mention of the difficulties he has had, there is no mention to the problems his father and I are having in trying
to get him there.  When he is there it's not for very long as the school excludes him for refusing to work, so he say's "what is the point in going, i don't want to be there, and they don't want me there!" I really have lost count of the amount of exclusions he has had in the last year.

Before attending this school his attendance was 99-100% and although he had difficulties there was always support and help and he was able to manage school.

No one wants the best for him more than we do and I have been desperately trying to get help for him, we have the EHCP now in place, but there is no provision for him anywhere so it looks like I will have to give up my job to home school him. 

Our situation is now desperate as he is now entering year 11 in September and I feel that the system is about to let him down in that suitable provision is not available - I feel he is being set up to fail.

He is an extremely bright young man, who really needs to be given an opportunity to succeed. 

This situation is just awful and we are so anxious and worried about this - can anyone offer any advice.


Parents

  • Thank you for your replies, I found them reassuring as I am already thinking along similar lines.  In terms of his education I know in time he will find his feet as he is a bright young man - I think a college place would suit him really well.  For now I just need to get him to place where he is settled, whilst satisfying the local authority.  I was already thinking that if I do have to educate him myself that it will be a challenge and I will need to be inventive.  I was thinking a holistic approach of various inputs via college, internet, tutor etc might work - we will see!

    I don't think he is being bullied as such, the school a technical college opened in September and I think they are trying to establish themselves with very high standards in terms of appearance and education and it's either their way or the highway, with no compromise, they also have virtually no budget for SEN.  It is this culture that my Son is struggling with. For example he has not been sleeping of a night and so getting him up in the morning has proven difficult, I told the school this but they said if he was not there on time, he was not to come in at all! When I challenged my Son to get there on time his answer was not to go to bed at all, so he was attending school without having any sleep.  The point is everyone agrees that this school is not the right place but the despite is having a detrimental affect the local authority insist he attends until another provision is found. 

    Also interesting point about sexual identity - this is something we have also picked up on.  I guess it's another area which like any social interaction for someone on the spectrum can be confusing.

    I will certainly try the help line and other avenues you mention - Thank you.

Reply

  • Thank you for your replies, I found them reassuring as I am already thinking along similar lines.  In terms of his education I know in time he will find his feet as he is a bright young man - I think a college place would suit him really well.  For now I just need to get him to place where he is settled, whilst satisfying the local authority.  I was already thinking that if I do have to educate him myself that it will be a challenge and I will need to be inventive.  I was thinking a holistic approach of various inputs via college, internet, tutor etc might work - we will see!

    I don't think he is being bullied as such, the school a technical college opened in September and I think they are trying to establish themselves with very high standards in terms of appearance and education and it's either their way or the highway, with no compromise, they also have virtually no budget for SEN.  It is this culture that my Son is struggling with. For example he has not been sleeping of a night and so getting him up in the morning has proven difficult, I told the school this but they said if he was not there on time, he was not to come in at all! When I challenged my Son to get there on time his answer was not to go to bed at all, so he was attending school without having any sleep.  The point is everyone agrees that this school is not the right place but the despite is having a detrimental affect the local authority insist he attends until another provision is found. 

    Also interesting point about sexual identity - this is something we have also picked up on.  I guess it's another area which like any social interaction for someone on the spectrum can be confusing.

    I will certainly try the help line and other avenues you mention - Thank you.

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