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Help advice needed for court action

hopeful

 
My 15 yr old aspergers son started a new school in September last year after a move across the country.  The problem we have is that he has taken the move very badly, this has been compounded by the fact that he has been unable to settle at his new school.  In hindsight I can now see that this was completely the wrong provision for him.  

he has been very low and very angry and has been self-harming and threatening suicide because he has been so unhappy. This is mainly because he is so unhappy at
school and so our efforts to get him there have been met with him barricading
himself in his room and refusing to go, as you can imagine it has been an
extremely stressful time.  We have finally got him into counselling, but there
is also a police investigation going on into a case of grooming from an older man against him.

The problem we have is that court proceedings have begun against us for non/low attendance of school - I really can't believe this that after one meeting they can do that.  no help has been offered.  In the report there is no mention of the difficulties he has had, there is no mention to the problems his father and I are having in trying
to get him there.  When he is there it's not for very long as the school excludes him for refusing to work, so he say's "what is the point in going, i don't want to be there, and they don't want me there!" I really have lost count of the amount of exclusions he has had in the last year.

Before attending this school his attendance was 99-100% and although he had difficulties there was always support and help and he was able to manage school.

No one wants the best for him more than we do and I have been desperately trying to get help for him, we have the EHCP now in place, but there is no provision for him anywhere so it looks like I will have to give up my job to home school him. 

Our situation is now desperate as he is now entering year 11 in September and I feel that the system is about to let him down in that suitable provision is not available - I feel he is being set up to fail.

He is an extremely bright young man, who really needs to be given an opportunity to succeed. 

This situation is just awful and we are so anxious and worried about this - can anyone offer any advice.


Parents

  • Is he being bullied?  Fifteen is about a likely age to be out of step with an adolescent peer group and being picked on for being different.

    Schools often have rather narrow understandings of bullying - bigger kids in extortion of younger etc. There still seems to be little progress in understanding the kind of bullying inflicted on children and teenagers on the autistic spectrum, often outwardly less obvious and out of sight of the teachers.

    If you are different, less able to determine the nature of social interchanges, and easily stressed, kids can be mighty good at exploiting that vulnerability for a laugh, and it often involves many against one. Someone on the autistic spectrum can be "good entertainment" for peers who might not otherwise be identified as bullies.

    You also mention an incident involving 'grooming'. Young people on the spectrum may be ambiguous in their sexuality and their perception of sexual identity, being unable to benefit from social interaction within their peer group, and easily isolated and exploited. There just isn't enough understanding of this, and young people on the spectrum in sexual identity crisis really are left to fend for themselves because it is such a taboo subject. What I'm saying is the grooming incident may point to other forms of "difference" in relation to his peer group.

    The school has duties towards your son. If they know he has a diagnosis of asperger's they cannot simply exclude him because having an awkward disabled pupil doesn't suit them. If the school enrolled him knowing his condition the school needs to demonstrate that they have acted properly and with due consideration for his disability, so it is worth challenging their attitude. But it is important to get the right advice - eg NAS help line, or a community advocacy service, or a solicitor with autism insight (NAS website has a list of suitable solicitors - just finding it is the problem).

    Schools will try to blank out parental concern and assert their autocratic and self aggrandised perception of their knowledge. Test their knowledge of autism. 

Reply

  • Is he being bullied?  Fifteen is about a likely age to be out of step with an adolescent peer group and being picked on for being different.

    Schools often have rather narrow understandings of bullying - bigger kids in extortion of younger etc. There still seems to be little progress in understanding the kind of bullying inflicted on children and teenagers on the autistic spectrum, often outwardly less obvious and out of sight of the teachers.

    If you are different, less able to determine the nature of social interchanges, and easily stressed, kids can be mighty good at exploiting that vulnerability for a laugh, and it often involves many against one. Someone on the autistic spectrum can be "good entertainment" for peers who might not otherwise be identified as bullies.

    You also mention an incident involving 'grooming'. Young people on the spectrum may be ambiguous in their sexuality and their perception of sexual identity, being unable to benefit from social interaction within their peer group, and easily isolated and exploited. There just isn't enough understanding of this, and young people on the spectrum in sexual identity crisis really are left to fend for themselves because it is such a taboo subject. What I'm saying is the grooming incident may point to other forms of "difference" in relation to his peer group.

    The school has duties towards your son. If they know he has a diagnosis of asperger's they cannot simply exclude him because having an awkward disabled pupil doesn't suit them. If the school enrolled him knowing his condition the school needs to demonstrate that they have acted properly and with due consideration for his disability, so it is worth challenging their attitude. But it is important to get the right advice - eg NAS help line, or a community advocacy service, or a solicitor with autism insight (NAS website has a list of suitable solicitors - just finding it is the problem).

    Schools will try to blank out parental concern and assert their autocratic and self aggrandised perception of their knowledge. Test their knowledge of autism. 

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