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Struggling with behaviour of 10 yr old son

NAS15696

I'm really struggling with the behaviour of my 10 yr old son (recently diagnosed asbergers). When he feels unsafe/unhappy/stressed/can't get his own way, he goes into 'lockdown' mode and i'm finding it increasingly difficult to draw him out of it. Sometimes I just leave him be and give him time to 'come out' of it at his own pace but often this is not possible. For example when we: have to get to school/appointment/work or when he is actually putting himself in physical danger.  It is impossible to reason with him when he is like this and I don't know what to do anymore. Can anyone offer any help or advice please?!

  • Thanks. AS far as I'm aware he isn't being bullied at school, in fact he seems to have lots of friends. He does, however, struggle with team games and sports and finds it hard to negotiate larger groups.

  • That should help - there are lots of parents with similar issues. Hopefully some will follow up with their experiences and solutions.

    He is likely to be pressured by coping with life at an age when he will start to appear much more different from his age group.

    Do you know if he is being bullied at school, or left out of games and activities, or having his differences pointed out to him through name calling, or classmates taking advantage of his vulnerability?

  • Thank you for your reply. By 'lockdown' I mean that he withdraws, refuses to cooperate with what is being asked of him and is rude and angry. Sometimes he will punch things and bang stuff. Whenhe was younger he used to hit out at me although this hasn't happened for a long time.

  • By lockdown due you mean he retreats into either some very focussed activity like computer games, or that he simply withdraws and tries to shut out everything else? Or alternatively is he actually "switching off"?

    It may be that his safe environment is one that depends on excluding everything else and just concentrating on this own thoughts.

    Some people's reaction to environmental stress is more introspective than the usual propensity to anger or meltdown, and are more likely just to bottle it up, and shut down dealing with the outside world.

    Also some people experience fading out or absent periods as a response to sensory overload. This looks sometimes like epilepsy but isn't, and just involves an apparent lapse in consciousness or appearing to sleep all the time.

    You might need to clarify what lockdown involves in your son's case.