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Teen with Asperger with depression

Stepparent05

My stepson who is 15 now was diagnosed with Asperger about 4years ago. His depression has been off the radar these last couple years. He has been to different therapist (because of moving)  been on a couple different medications and has been admitted into a mental hospital twice.  What happens is we will do therapy and they'll put him on medication. therapy will go well and then the therapist will release him even if we don't think that's best. He won't use any of the skills the therapist recommend doing for stress or communicating. We don't know when he gets low because he's great at hiding his feelings. He lives a very black and white life. If he's not the best he is a failure. If we aren't giving him 100% of our attention he will act out, pace the room or even go to the extreme and talk about hurting himself. We also have two other teenagers that feel neglected because he needs so much attention and does whatever it takes to get it. Well lately all he's been doing is putting himself down Constantly. I'm afraid that he's going to try to hurt himself again and we're right back to admitting him. Right now he is seeing a new doctor because of insurance and he did an evaluation and said he only needed to see him once a month for meds only. 

As as a parent we do self check ins with him, if we think he's upset we'll talk to him and go over relaxation techniques but he constantly says all he has is negative thoughts. We are lost and need some help. How can I find resources in my area to help him and us as parents? I feel like we're in a cycle that is never going to end. 

Parents

  • Hi,

    I'm Liv and I'm 18 - I have Asperger's Syndrome (diagnosed when I was 16) and bipolar disorder (tentatively diagnosed last year, confirmed in December) and my family and I have experienced all the struggles that come with just not knowing where to turn. We really struggled at the hands of CAMHS when I had an eating disorder (they couldn't treat it because I wasn't a low enough weight!) and are now struggling with adult services; we see a different doctor every time and forget things like therapy...it's all about managing my lithium level and that I stay on my anti-psychotic and not about me as a person at all and how I'm managing it emotionally. However, between now and CAMHS I had a private psychiatrist for a year who was brilliant and able to take the time to figure me out; sometimes, I know it'll sound dramatic but it's how I feel, I wonder if I would even be here without his support throughout the last year, let alone still at school working towards my A-levels and though still struggling some days more than others, actually in an OK place and expected to get pretty decent grades (sorry if it sounds like showing off!). I am so sorry that your private (I assume it's private if you're seeing them on insurance as we saw my private doctor on insurance) doctor doesn't seem to be providing you with the same service we got - you'd think they would be more supportive since they have your money and time! Perhaps - if you haven't done this already - you could have a talk with this doctor, saying, "Look, as we're seeing you privately, we'd appreciate it if you saw (your stepson's name) as a bit more than someone who needs to be medicated and give us a bit more advice on how to support him emotionally through his low moods since they have affected him to the point where he has needed hospitalisation in the past?" (Obviously that sounds a bit blunt but I'm an Aspie, I do blunt! I'm sure you'd know how to put it better and more politely than me.) You could perhaps ask about the possibility of referral to a psychologist for therapy, but again, that would cost more insurance money, and when we tried it, unlimited sessions weren't possible (as I'm sure you know, there are issues with insurance companies and chronic problems).

    I'm really sorry to hear that your stepson is struggling so much at the moment. Having bipolar, I absolutely know what a horrible thing depression is to go through. I can relate to what he's saying about only having negative thoughts - sometimes I'm exactly the same; sometimes when I get one of my lows I feel like I'm the most vile person on earth and such a bad person; I can't think of anything positive about myself or my life at all, even though I am so lucky in so many ways and I know I am. It is the most senseless, lonely, awful thing to go through, and when I'm like it, I just want my family to be there for me and not try to fix it because they can't; just to keep talking to me and not give up on me and to try and keep me safe, and that sounds like what you're doing for your stepson.

    I wish I could offer you some resources but I'm afraid I'm not sure what to suggest. I just want you to know that, now I've read your post, I'm thinking of you and your stepson, and I really hope that he feels better soon and that you're able to work something out.

    Lots of love,

    Liv

Reply

  • Hi,

    I'm Liv and I'm 18 - I have Asperger's Syndrome (diagnosed when I was 16) and bipolar disorder (tentatively diagnosed last year, confirmed in December) and my family and I have experienced all the struggles that come with just not knowing where to turn. We really struggled at the hands of CAMHS when I had an eating disorder (they couldn't treat it because I wasn't a low enough weight!) and are now struggling with adult services; we see a different doctor every time and forget things like therapy...it's all about managing my lithium level and that I stay on my anti-psychotic and not about me as a person at all and how I'm managing it emotionally. However, between now and CAMHS I had a private psychiatrist for a year who was brilliant and able to take the time to figure me out; sometimes, I know it'll sound dramatic but it's how I feel, I wonder if I would even be here without his support throughout the last year, let alone still at school working towards my A-levels and though still struggling some days more than others, actually in an OK place and expected to get pretty decent grades (sorry if it sounds like showing off!). I am so sorry that your private (I assume it's private if you're seeing them on insurance as we saw my private doctor on insurance) doctor doesn't seem to be providing you with the same service we got - you'd think they would be more supportive since they have your money and time! Perhaps - if you haven't done this already - you could have a talk with this doctor, saying, "Look, as we're seeing you privately, we'd appreciate it if you saw (your stepson's name) as a bit more than someone who needs to be medicated and give us a bit more advice on how to support him emotionally through his low moods since they have affected him to the point where he has needed hospitalisation in the past?" (Obviously that sounds a bit blunt but I'm an Aspie, I do blunt! I'm sure you'd know how to put it better and more politely than me.) You could perhaps ask about the possibility of referral to a psychologist for therapy, but again, that would cost more insurance money, and when we tried it, unlimited sessions weren't possible (as I'm sure you know, there are issues with insurance companies and chronic problems).

    I'm really sorry to hear that your stepson is struggling so much at the moment. Having bipolar, I absolutely know what a horrible thing depression is to go through. I can relate to what he's saying about only having negative thoughts - sometimes I'm exactly the same; sometimes when I get one of my lows I feel like I'm the most vile person on earth and such a bad person; I can't think of anything positive about myself or my life at all, even though I am so lucky in so many ways and I know I am. It is the most senseless, lonely, awful thing to go through, and when I'm like it, I just want my family to be there for me and not try to fix it because they can't; just to keep talking to me and not give up on me and to try and keep me safe, and that sounds like what you're doing for your stepson.

    I wish I could offer you some resources but I'm afraid I'm not sure what to suggest. I just want you to know that, now I've read your post, I'm thinking of you and your stepson, and I really hope that he feels better soon and that you're able to work something out.

    Lots of love,

    Liv

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