Struggling to get support in Secondary School!

I'm back!!!! 

I am probably not the best to advise on getting help at secodary school because my experience has been appalling to say the least and I am not sure about the EHC process, but I will tell you what got us a small amount  of support for exams.

My son is well behaved and never has a meltdown at school, he does that when he gets home (or now we are good at recognising the signs and he knows we are on his side we can make things less severe by talking).  The only problems school see is his refusal to do homework and his disorganisation. He also does not have a formal diagnosis yet.  I have often moaned on here about our struggles with school (deleted when I realised that people I knew were witness to what I was writing on here - will be more careful in future).

We repeatedly asked for exam dispensations (In the middle of GCSEs now) for my son, particularly to do with his handwriting.  School did tests on him and kept saying there was no problem but we knew there was. Teachers keep telling him his writing is illegible but when the SENCO asked they said there was no problem.  We ended up putting in a formal complaint and we had a meeting with the head and SENCO.  The head was vile to us and told us so many lies about help he would get before the exams (this was the week before the exams and he never did receive the help she promised).  She spoke over me every time I tried to speak too. She told me the clinical psychologist had said he was the moderate end of the spectrum (clearly she thinks this means he does not struggle, rather than the fact that he is an aspie).  They also told us they had tried applying for dispensations to the exam boards and I have since asked to see the forms and they are not granting me access (even though by law I have a right) which I think is because they do not exist.

I ended up paying out for a private educational psychologist to assess my son and he took a day off school to go and be tested.  She wrote an indepth report and I submitted it the night before his first exam - so too late for the 2 exams on that day.  By the following day he had got the dispensations we had requested, because the school knew they could no longer deny him because we were right all along. 

Anyway the report said his mental health problems were the responsibility of the school because he had been suffering chronic bullying and the school had not dealt with it, many culprits received no sanctions at all.  She also said it was obvious from his school reports that he needed support academicaly years ago and the teachers should have realised this when they write the same thing year after year after year, but they always said he should work on his struggles by himself rather than providing him with the extra support he needed at school.  She diagnosed him with dysgraphia, very slow verbal processing, slow reading speed and an extremely low self-esteem.  This was on top of his already diagnosed anxiety and clinical depression.

We are still taking this to the chair of governors because we should not have been treated the way we have and he will be mentally and physically scarred because of his time at his school.  We knew we were right about his struggles and school would not listen and even accused us of making him mentally ill by fighting the school (he was not aware of what we were doing).  I think we deserve an apology for the pain they have caused our son and us (I am under medical care for anxiety and insomnia because of this).

So after that long explanation, my advice would be if you think your son deserves support then fight for it and don't let school put you off.  schools have very little knowledge of autism and frequently deny the support that is needed. 

I would also say IPSEA are amazing too.

Good luck and keep advocating, you are his parent so know him better than anyone.

I'm back!!!! 

I am probably not the best to advise on getting help at secodary school because my experience has been appalling to say the least and I am not sure about the EHC process, but I will tell you what got us a small amount  of support for exams.

My son is well behaved and never has a meltdown at school, he does that when he gets home (or now we are good at recognising the signs and he knows we are on his side we can make things less severe by talking).  The only problems school see is his refusal to do homework and his disorganisation. He also does not have a formal diagnosis yet.  I have often moaned on here about our struggles with school (deleted when I realised that people I knew were witness to what I was writing on here - will be more careful in future).

We repeatedly asked for exam dispensations (In the middle of GCSEs now) for my son, particularly to do with his handwriting.  School did tests on him and kept saying there was no problem but we knew there was. Teachers keep telling him his writing is illegible but when the SENCO asked they said there was no problem.  We ended up putting in a formal complaint and we had a meeting with the head and SENCO.  The head was vile to us and told us so many lies about help he would get before the exams (this was the week before the exams and he never did receive the help she promised).  She spoke over me every time I tried to speak too. She told me the clinical psychologist had said he was the moderate end of the spectrum (clearly she thinks this means he does not struggle, rather than the fact that he is an aspie).  They also told us they had tried applying for dispensations to the exam boards and I have since asked to see the forms and they are not granting me access (even though by law I have a right) which I think is because they do not exist.

I ended up paying out for a private educational psychologist to assess my son and he took a day off school to go and be tested.  She wrote an indepth report and I submitted it the night before his first exam - so too late for the 2 exams on that day.  By the following day he had got the dispensations we had requested, because the school knew they could no longer deny him because we were right all along. 

Anyway the report said his mental health problems were the responsibility of the school because he had been suffering chronic bullying and the school had not dealt with it, many culprits received no sanctions at all.  She also said it was obvious from his school reports that he needed support academicaly years ago and the teachers should have realised this when they write the same thing year after year after year, but they always said he should work on his struggles by himself rather than providing him with the extra support he needed at school.  She diagnosed him with dysgraphia, very slow verbal processing, slow reading speed and an extremely low self-esteem.  This was on top of his already diagnosed anxiety and clinical depression.

We are still taking this to the chair of governors because we should not have been treated the way we have and he will be mentally and physically scarred because of his time at his school.  We knew we were right about his struggles and school would not listen and even accused us of making him mentally ill by fighting the school (he was not aware of what we were doing).  I think we deserve an apology for the pain they have caused our son and us (I am under medical care for anxiety and insomnia because of this).

So after that long explanation, my advice would be if you think your son deserves support then fight for it and don't let school put you off.  schools have very little knowledge of autism and frequently deny the support that is needed. 

I would also say IPSEA are amazing too.

Good luck and keep advocating, you are his parent so know him better than anyone.