Have I had a breakdown?

Hello Leanne,

As a late diagnosed adult with ASD and a mum of two on the spectrum myself, I can certainly identify with the above post. Drinking does have the affect of turning the volume down when things become too difficult to cope with, but ultimately it is also a depressant and highly addictive. For some, it can even make them aggressive.

I've read a good book recently called drinking to cope. By Sarah Hendrickx. It's the only book i've found that discusses the link between ASD and alcohol use.

I'm not suggesting that you are on the spectrum, but some of the insights were quite helpful and made me view things in an entirley different light. Including why it's the drug of choice for many. You may recognize some of the issues discussed in it as familiar.

www.amazon.co.uk/.../1843106094

It's very easy to ignore our own well-being when faced with the demands of children on the spectrum. I reached breaking point a few years back and just couldn't function in the end.

In the first instance, I would talk to your GP and ask for a referral for some counselling. It doesn't matter if you don't go for counselling ultimately, but the waiting list is often such that it could be sometime before you are seen, so if you are on the waiting list now it will help.

Caring for those on the spectrum is extremely hard. Planning time for yourself can be difficult if not impossible without support. If you are not getting support just now, then try and find some. Respite of some kind may give you the much needed break to help you get some rest and also gather your thoughts. I had no respite in 18 years and when I eventually got it, I slept for nearly three days. When I woke, things were a lot less anxiety provoking.

Don't be affraid to ask for help. We all need it at some time in our lives. 

My heart goes out to you and all those who know what it is to care for children on the spectrum.

Coogy xx

I am going to be really honest here, i have been the same, i cant cope with everything, been working full time,comming home,having my child having a meltdown all night every night,him not going to sleep till around 1am, me then going to sleep around 2am or 3am.

i have a drink once or twice a week,however like you ive been doing the same.

I have also and ashamed of this been gambling,just anything to make me feel better,but of course it just made things a lot worst because i have ended up in bad debt because of it,ive hardly been eating for around a year and lost loads of weight,but i dont know where to turn.

I would agree with K2ako - let your GP have a look at the state you are in. Relentless pressure has an affect and you may be suffering from stress or something.

You need some rebalancing in your life.  Do you get a break at all?  Have you enough support from family + services on a regular basis, not just when it gets too much?  It is so difficult when services are rationed.  You def need someone to talk to, to try + get some of your feelings out.  Talk to your partner calmly if poss, or another row might develop.  Have you a mutual friend who could be a go-between if you think things could end up in a row?   Imo it's not your fault, so please don't blame yourself, altho it's easy to do.  Have you got a carer's assessment.  It's worth doing + may entitle you to more breaks.

Sounds like you need to chat things through with your partner while the boys are out. Tell your partner how you are feeling then he will be able to try and understand you.

Maybe a visit to your GP on monday will be needed as well.

Do you have any friends you can turn to for support ? or family ? sound like  you need an ear.

not much help i know

take care xx