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14yr old laughing inappropriately in class

lukesmum

HI, my son has a diagnosis of ASD and attends a mainsteam school, he is currently struggling in some lessons with regards to laughing/ sniggering sometimes it is appropriately and others not, sometimes it can be an anxious laugh and others he could be laughing at not know what he is laughing at, most of his teachers follow the advice given to them on behalf of the ASD input team as they observed him doing it in a lesson, they suggested tghe teacher have a calm word with him and if he still  continues then they should ask him calmly to go outside the classroom until he calms down, this works  great with most teachers as they understand him however a couple of teachers and when they have a supply teacher end up  not following the guidelines and it ends up with a few other pupils(usually  girls) telling him to shut up then the name calling starts and when he responds to their actions he is the one that gets into trouble. 

I have spoken with the head of year after another episode on Friday and she suggests that we try and let him know what is and isnt appropriate to laugh at but we do that anyway also the teachers would have to do that too, can anyone suggest anything else we could try.

 

Parents

  • Social referencing

    The majority of his classmates are non-autistic and therefore are informed by shared understanding. They tend to act together, because what most people learn over time are certain unwritten social rules that apply to that cohort - when to laugh, when to be serious and pay attention. Anyone who doesn't gets dirty looks from the others and conforms.

    If you are on the spectrum you are not switched into that consensus, what Digby Tantam of Sheffield calls "the interbrain". Most people are conditioned by collective mores.

    I keep coming across daft suggestions that people on the spectrum need the "rules" written down for them, but these aren't fixed rules written by Alfred the Great. They are whatever rules apply to any given socially inter-referenced majority, and, while no-one could probably come up with them and write them down, that's what drives collective behaviour.

    Someone on the spectrum has no social referencing. They don't just not have it now, in a given situation, they've never had it. They have to find out in other ways, learning what is expected. They have to learn to spot what might be expected of them without social referencing to help them, and that takes years of practice.

    Also not having social referencing a lot of your mental activity is freed up, and tends to run on imagination, so daydreaming is more inclined to take control.

    I feel initially like criticising the teachers. But they are only going by what they are told about autism which, especially if it comes from NAS, will be based on the Triad of Impairments. The Triad is a diagnostic tool to distinguish from other conditions. It is not a definition of life on the spectrum. Social referencing is not covered by the Triad, which just goes on about communication difficulty as if it is an absolute failing.

    How do you tell someone who hasn't got social referencing (or isn't on Tantam's "interbrain") when to laugh and when not to laugh? You cannot explain this in every situation and you'd need to know the context. You can teach a child that there are times when best not to laugh, but without social referencing the child on the spectrum can only guess. He/she is not reading the collective "rules".

    In World Autism Awareness Week I wish NAS and the other experts would stop spouting platitudes and properly study the difficulties people deal with every day.

    We cannot progress on helping people live with autism until we understandd the real causes of difficulty. I humbly submit that social referencing is crucial to this. But I'm wasting my time - the NAS is too busy trying one their onesies for tomorrow!

Reply

  • Social referencing

    The majority of his classmates are non-autistic and therefore are informed by shared understanding. They tend to act together, because what most people learn over time are certain unwritten social rules that apply to that cohort - when to laugh, when to be serious and pay attention. Anyone who doesn't gets dirty looks from the others and conforms.

    If you are on the spectrum you are not switched into that consensus, what Digby Tantam of Sheffield calls "the interbrain". Most people are conditioned by collective mores.

    I keep coming across daft suggestions that people on the spectrum need the "rules" written down for them, but these aren't fixed rules written by Alfred the Great. They are whatever rules apply to any given socially inter-referenced majority, and, while no-one could probably come up with them and write them down, that's what drives collective behaviour.

    Someone on the spectrum has no social referencing. They don't just not have it now, in a given situation, they've never had it. They have to find out in other ways, learning what is expected. They have to learn to spot what might be expected of them without social referencing to help them, and that takes years of practice.

    Also not having social referencing a lot of your mental activity is freed up, and tends to run on imagination, so daydreaming is more inclined to take control.

    I feel initially like criticising the teachers. But they are only going by what they are told about autism which, especially if it comes from NAS, will be based on the Triad of Impairments. The Triad is a diagnostic tool to distinguish from other conditions. It is not a definition of life on the spectrum. Social referencing is not covered by the Triad, which just goes on about communication difficulty as if it is an absolute failing.

    How do you tell someone who hasn't got social referencing (or isn't on Tantam's "interbrain") when to laugh and when not to laugh? You cannot explain this in every situation and you'd need to know the context. You can teach a child that there are times when best not to laugh, but without social referencing the child on the spectrum can only guess. He/she is not reading the collective "rules".

    In World Autism Awareness Week I wish NAS and the other experts would stop spouting platitudes and properly study the difficulties people deal with every day.

    We cannot progress on helping people live with autism until we understandd the real causes of difficulty. I humbly submit that social referencing is crucial to this. But I'm wasting my time - the NAS is too busy trying one their onesies for tomorrow!

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