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Really need help don't know what to do

Missmoomoo

hi first time poster and just come here looking for a bit of help regarding my 7 year old son, he has never been an easy child didn't sleep as a baby, then just didn't seem to want to play etc would just scream all day as he got older until he could talk etc.., I don't have any diagnosis on him as he hadn't been to the doctors as I think there is nothing a matter with him and he is just playing us, where as my partners thinks there is something a matter with him, not one day goes by with out a huge outburst off of him over something trivial, such as last night doing the weekley food shop and he couldn't have his own way with getting a toy car, he has a box full he never plays with so he kicks off at us that's it then for rest of evening till bed time we are treading on egg shells, usually when he kicks off he will turn his head facing away from us and shout horrible things at us like, I hate you, I don't love you, nobody likes me etc, it's got to the point where I'm depressed, my partners fed up and down with all the stress, my tqo other children 12 and 10 are getting pushed aside 12 year old stays in her room out of the way 10 year fights back with him, it's like a constant battle ground in the house, he hits both of my older children at the slightest little thing, won't eat his tea etc I just don't what to do as after all this at home he is a star pupil at school who never gets in trouble he is actually scared of getting in trouble at school, am I right in thinking he is playing us or could it be something else thank you in advance for any advice given x 

  • Has or does he display any of the following common traits found in many on the spectrum?:

    Bad sleeper (you said yes)

    Very picky eater? Limited diet

    Delayed speech (our ASD son didn't say a word until he was 2)

    Difficulty playing with other kids?

    Few or no friends?

    When he's with other kids his age do you feel he fits in or do you worry hes "different" somehow?

    Obsessive hobbies.... Ours is heavily into trains, cars and planes and can tell you weird facts that most adults wouldn't even know.

    Always moving.... Our son is like the Duracell bunny, he can't sit still and is always jumping around.

    Clumsiness..... Often tripping over.

    Destructiveness....  Breaking toys to see how they work without realising that they can't be fixed.

    Problems at school?

    Our son is ASD and has all of the above.

  • Hi.  The only way of finding out whether your son is autistic or not is to go + see your GP + ask for him to be assessed.  Sometimes, depending on the GP, you may need to push hard to get the process started.  If he is autistic then he could well be collecting the toy cars, so not getting 1 when he is expecting 1 could easily upset him dreadfully.  They will be v important to him, more so than to a non-autistic child.  Also, if he is autistic, then he needs help asap so that his situation + therefore your family's situation, can start to improve.  So make sure you ask for an assessment.  If you are pretty sure he is autistic then you could look up info via the home pg + the posts to see how you can help him in the meantime.  If he is autistic then he will appreciate very much a set routine.  Parenting should be consistent in every respect if poss.  If he is autistic, he may have sensory issues relating to taste, texture, smells, sounds etc.  If he is autistic then he is "not just being naughty".  This, unfortunately, is a common mistake that non-autistic people make.  They treat their child the way they would treat a non-autistic child.  This is a massive error + will make the child's life + the family's life so very difficult.  Please let us know how you get on.  People are here to help.  Good luck with everything.  Also, tell us a bit more about him as this can help posters with their replies.  It is also common for autistic children to bottle up all their anxiety at school + let it out when they get home.  What does the school say about him, bearing in mind a good number of schools aren't particularly autism-aware anyway?