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Undiagnosed 6-yr-old, mother at end of tether!

Luca's mum

Hi,

I would like some advice/help/sympathy!

I have a 6-yr-old boy who has anger issues and can be really defiant. He hurts other kids at school and was excluded for a day and a half the other week. I had a "Choices" interview with Camhs in April, but we have been on a waiting list since then, without being seen. His headmistress thinks he has Attachment Disorder, and he certainly seems to tick most of the boxes, but I am finding it hard to know how to deal with him. I am trying to set clear boundaries, but he doesn't seem to learn - the behaviour doesn't change. Instead, he resents me for punishing him.

I get really upset when we go out and he refuses to do as he's told - it makes me feel like an idiot for not being able to control a 6-yr-old! I feel like no-one wants us around and I can't take him anywhere without being really worried about his behaviour. We are due to go to Brighton this weekend, to visit friends, and I am just dreading him hurting their child, and running off or being wilfully disobedient in public. 

Any advice gratefully accepted...

Parents

  • Found one book - "A short introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder" by Colby Pearce. Very good book on the subject, with a description of what attachment is and how it develops, different attachment types, representations of attachment disorder and advice on how to deal with it, an example of one boy with his difficulties and progress goes on through the book and gives a good illustration. The book is short, but nevertheless has lots of to the point information, so I do recommend you read it (even if your boy doesn't turn out to have an attachment disorder after all).

    But I still think I saw it somewhere in a different book where it was written in more details about attention seeking behaviour, its types, how to recognize it and see beyond this behaviour. I'll keep looking, but maybe i've given it away to someone to read, sorry!

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  • Found one book - "A short introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder" by Colby Pearce. Very good book on the subject, with a description of what attachment is and how it develops, different attachment types, representations of attachment disorder and advice on how to deal with it, an example of one boy with his difficulties and progress goes on through the book and gives a good illustration. The book is short, but nevertheless has lots of to the point information, so I do recommend you read it (even if your boy doesn't turn out to have an attachment disorder after all).

    But I still think I saw it somewhere in a different book where it was written in more details about attention seeking behaviour, its types, how to recognize it and see beyond this behaviour. I'll keep looking, but maybe i've given it away to someone to read, sorry!

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