First time on forum. having a VERY bad day

Hi to anyone reading this, this is the first time ive used a forum so not sure how this all works, I NEVER ask for help , not entirely sure why, just feel ive failed if I have to ask for help I suppose, but today, if nothing else, I just need to verbalise (write!)about this horrible day. I have a son who is 12 and has 'symptoms consistent with Aspergers Syndrome" ( that's as official as they will be in my area!) today he has been excluded from school because he, in the words of the school, violently assaulted another boy, by shoving him so hard that he fell and ended up with a cut and bruised head. we have been worried about this happening for so long, he is a lovely boy, very intelligent academically but not emotionally,  and has always had a problem with his temper if something doesn't go right or someone says something mean, today this boy at school accused him of cheating when he was keeping score in a school cricket match, my son protested his innocence but the boy kept on, and encouraged other boys to join in the accusation, and this was too much for my son. the school he goes to is a mainstream state school that has a specialist Aspergers/autism unit and my son has a full statement with full time TA's, we had a big struggle to find somewhere for his secondary education because of the lack of provision and have ended up having to send him to a school in a neighbouring education authority . We did visit special schools but there were none to cater for higher functioning children. This exclusion today is exactly the reason we didn't want mainstream school for him, because we feel he needs to be somwhere that can help with his lack of emotional maturity which causes his outbursts when he can't cope with something. He has come so far, I used to be at his primary school almost daily apologising for him hitting or pushing someone but this has got less and less over the years and apart from a couple of incidents where he has become upset in class, this is the first incident since he started at secondary school last September. so worried now, this is now on his school record and I don't know what we'll do if it happens again and he gets expelled. He is very depressed about the whole thing and was crying on the way home saying how unfair it is that he was born like this and that just cut me up and I just feel ive failed him. Run out of steam now and getting a bit upset so going to stop there. Any advice gratefully received! 

Parents
  • I did consider block capitals appropriate for BETTER INFORMED, because right the way through your original posting it seemed to be about your son being an embarrassment and his fault he was hitting out.

    I do think you need to read into this more thoroughly for your son's sake. Whether I'd written it as "better informed" or "BETTER INFORMED" I didn't say that your son "needs better parents". You are "putting words into my mouth".

    Regarding the quip "please keep your thoughts to yourself unless you have something useful or helpful to say". You posted "Any advice gratefully received".

    I gave you very considered and appropriate advice. Besuides being a lecturer I was a disability coordinator in a university dealing with the interpretation of the social model in practice, and the problems this caused for students with autism.

    Far from my advice being "gratefully received", you were the one who put the boot in twice.

    I'm trying to be accommodating. You are being very judgemental and being judge and jury over me, and I feel to this site.

    The reference to "asperger's crap" (the system will probably blank my use of the word) - strongly conveys you don't take aspergers very seriously.

    Your tone is very offensive to me.

Reply
  • I did consider block capitals appropriate for BETTER INFORMED, because right the way through your original posting it seemed to be about your son being an embarrassment and his fault he was hitting out.

    I do think you need to read into this more thoroughly for your son's sake. Whether I'd written it as "better informed" or "BETTER INFORMED" I didn't say that your son "needs better parents". You are "putting words into my mouth".

    Regarding the quip "please keep your thoughts to yourself unless you have something useful or helpful to say". You posted "Any advice gratefully received".

    I gave you very considered and appropriate advice. Besuides being a lecturer I was a disability coordinator in a university dealing with the interpretation of the social model in practice, and the problems this caused for students with autism.

    Far from my advice being "gratefully received", you were the one who put the boot in twice.

    I'm trying to be accommodating. You are being very judgemental and being judge and jury over me, and I feel to this site.

    The reference to "asperger's crap" (the system will probably blank my use of the word) - strongly conveys you don't take aspergers very seriously.

    Your tone is very offensive to me.

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