First time on forum. having a VERY bad day

Hi to anyone reading this, this is the first time ive used a forum so not sure how this all works, I NEVER ask for help , not entirely sure why, just feel ive failed if I have to ask for help I suppose, but today, if nothing else, I just need to verbalise (write!)about this horrible day. I have a son who is 12 and has 'symptoms consistent with Aspergers Syndrome" ( that's as official as they will be in my area!) today he has been excluded from school because he, in the words of the school, violently assaulted another boy, by shoving him so hard that he fell and ended up with a cut and bruised head. we have been worried about this happening for so long, he is a lovely boy, very intelligent academically but not emotionally,  and has always had a problem with his temper if something doesn't go right or someone says something mean, today this boy at school accused him of cheating when he was keeping score in a school cricket match, my son protested his innocence but the boy kept on, and encouraged other boys to join in the accusation, and this was too much for my son. the school he goes to is a mainstream state school that has a specialist Aspergers/autism unit and my son has a full statement with full time TA's, we had a big struggle to find somewhere for his secondary education because of the lack of provision and have ended up having to send him to a school in a neighbouring education authority . We did visit special schools but there were none to cater for higher functioning children. This exclusion today is exactly the reason we didn't want mainstream school for him, because we feel he needs to be somwhere that can help with his lack of emotional maturity which causes his outbursts when he can't cope with something. He has come so far, I used to be at his primary school almost daily apologising for him hitting or pushing someone but this has got less and less over the years and apart from a couple of incidents where he has become upset in class, this is the first incident since he started at secondary school last September. so worried now, this is now on his school record and I don't know what we'll do if it happens again and he gets expelled. He is very depressed about the whole thing and was crying on the way home saying how unfair it is that he was born like this and that just cut me up and I just feel ive failed him. Run out of steam now and getting a bit upset so going to stop there. Any advice gratefully received! 

Parents
  • Hello, Dubz

    First of all dont blame yourself, ASD traits isnt due to parenting styles/issues

    Bad temper can happen in people with ASD, and emotional immatureness isnt his fault either he doesnt do it on purpose, i have Autism and i probably lack it at times dont think i understand what is classed has emotional immatureness to be honest

    I remember i had bad time in school used to hit people if something mean was said to me  so im not sure how i can give advice for that cause my punching didnt stop till i finished school (sorry)

    is there anywhere else In your area where you can get an officail diagnosis for him? it would be helpful to you because you will get access to a lot more help

    since your son is feeling Depressed sit down with him while doing something he enjoys and talk to him about it NOT being his fault him being born this way its no ones fault its just the way the brain developed 

    one last thing i think its ridiculous that Long man said people with Autism/Aspergers cant play sport due to coordination, not all kids with ASD has problems with coordination i used to like sport i only have slight coordination problem but i didnt let it stop me

    ask your son if he likes sport, if he says yes then try to see if theres a sports club he can attend 

    having Autism isnt an horrible condition in my opinion, im used to being that bit different

    hopefully i helped a bit and sorry if i missed any of your post

Reply
  • Hello, Dubz

    First of all dont blame yourself, ASD traits isnt due to parenting styles/issues

    Bad temper can happen in people with ASD, and emotional immatureness isnt his fault either he doesnt do it on purpose, i have Autism and i probably lack it at times dont think i understand what is classed has emotional immatureness to be honest

    I remember i had bad time in school used to hit people if something mean was said to me  so im not sure how i can give advice for that cause my punching didnt stop till i finished school (sorry)

    is there anywhere else In your area where you can get an officail diagnosis for him? it would be helpful to you because you will get access to a lot more help

    since your son is feeling Depressed sit down with him while doing something he enjoys and talk to him about it NOT being his fault him being born this way its no ones fault its just the way the brain developed 

    one last thing i think its ridiculous that Long man said people with Autism/Aspergers cant play sport due to coordination, not all kids with ASD has problems with coordination i used to like sport i only have slight coordination problem but i didnt let it stop me

    ask your son if he likes sport, if he says yes then try to see if theres a sports club he can attend 

    having Autism isnt an horrible condition in my opinion, im used to being that bit different

    hopefully i helped a bit and sorry if i missed any of your post

Children
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