What/how to choose? Mainstream/ASD Unit/Special School

Hi,

I know just how you feel, I change my mind constantly about whats best for him. For example he is 16 so we are trying to teach him some independant living skills. He can make toast or a sandwhich now and use the microwave a little to reheat his dinner etc if he is late in from college. However I have just this evening caught him trying to heat up a ricepudding pot with the foil lid still on. He is very clever but just forgets how to do things. So now im thinking is it dangerous to teach him to use the kitchen at all, and wonder was pushing him through school worth it, if he cant cook for himself or handle social situations in a workplace what was the point in getting exam passes and being at college. ahhhhhh So sorry didnt mean to rant!

I dont think they learn to be an autistic person, I think that they already are a person who has autisum, they already know there world, its our world thats the problem for them and that they need help to be able to manage in it. Does that even make sence? lol.

I cant help much with the pros and cons list as its very individual. But have you had opertunity to actualy look round and talk to the different teachers at the different schools. You might get a clearer idea if you know exactly whats out there for him.

take care and good luck

sam

x

Thanks Sam

This is horribly difficult and we have no intention of hurrying our decision.  I feel like I spend all day chewing it over in my mind and I'm in danger of making myself bonkers!

Our son is still only 7 and has no particular interest in school.  He would happily play around all day long and as far as we know he has no particular expectations from school.  He is not terribly good at communicating how he feels about things, but I plan to at least try and instigate the conversation.  We know that he is a bright boy - when he is interested in a subject he retains silly amounts of information about it, but that does not extend to the general class curriculum!  He just tells the staff that he is not doing what they are asking and they spend their time finding ways to coax him into doing it - usually involving some kind of learning treat when he has completed his work.

We are not worried about his academic progress at primary level, but we do want him to get to a point where he will just get on with some work (!) and I don't know if there is a physical reason at the school why he finds that difficult or if he is just not interested enough to care.  Our priority is for him to be able to work around others - to be more comfortable in the usual social situations.  After all, he is going to be in school for while yet!

I also wonder if it is necessary for him to "learn to be an autistic person".  While he has been informed that he has autism, we don't know if that means anything to him - if he sees himself or other people as being different.  The mainstream school staff definitely don't have the expertise for that...

I've been trying to list the pros and cons for each setting, and there are currently not many pros on my list for mainstream school - still processing....

Hi there,

Dont know how much help this will be to you but its my experiences. I think a lot depends on you and your sons wants and expectations out of a school.

I pushed for my son to remain in mainstream because he was academicaly able and I worried about his long term future as I felt that with support he would be able to work and live independantly. but its been a hard struggle all of primary he had a 1 on 1 assistant, secondary was slightly easier as he followed an academic timetable and had use of laptops and a quiet room he could escape too and at times I did question if I did the right thing and if it was fair on him and should I move him. I strongly considered home schooling but with 3 other siblings and being unsure of my own abilities as a stand in for a teacher I saved that as a very last resort. But to be fair I think most parents do question most things with all children, its part of being a parent.

However I now think it has all been worthwhile as he is in college doing a NC course and applying to do a HNC next year with a group of people who are all interested in the same things. Yes its still hard on an organisational level and i will always be involved in his education. But he is now finaly happy and looking forward to his years in FE.

However I have also seen it from the other side as I worked as a support worker/ classroom assistant in a special school for a little over a year and  the children I saw there were very happy and yes they didnt have to change schools, we had kids from nursery up to 19. Everything was about their needs and helping them cope with the outside world it was fantastic for kids that need that. But my son would of been bored stupid with the educational work he loves fact and trivial and passed most his exams, it would not of been suitable for him other than he wouldnt of had the struggles with teachers not understanding him and would probably off made friends and felt more secure.

So I feel it realy is an individual question of what does your son need now and in the future, is there any middle ground you can find like the mainstream you mentioned with a support unit. Hope this has given a little insight from someone who is comming out the other end of the school system. Best of luck.

Sam

x

Many thanks for your responses, I was particularly looking for answers from parents who had mixed feelings about autism specific education, so thank you lucymac.

A month on, we seem to be coming to the conclusion that either an ASD unit or a special school would be more appropriate for our son than the mainstream school he is in.  The staff have admitted that they do not feel they have the expertise to do right by him in every way, and each day seems to be more about getting around whatever mood he may be in.  The result is that he ends up spending more time out of the classroom having 1-2-1 with his Learning Support teacher than with anyone else.

Our reasons for wanting him to stay in mainstream are no longer valid.  We wanted him to have social interaction with his NT peers and hopefully see appropriate behaviours modelled, but this does not happen because his reactions to what goes on around him necessitates him being removed from the classroom environment, or he will voluntarily remove himself.

We now think that it is better for him to be in a smaller class with 6 or 7 other children with autism than absenting himself completely from a large mainstream class!  We have to decide if some mainstream contact is appropriate for him from an ASD unit or if we should just aim for a special school, both of which are feasible in our area.  The other bonus (as we see it) with the special school is that he can be there until he reaches 19 if he wishes - change has never been a good thing for him!  The next step is for us to take a look and hope that one or other place will speak strongly to us that he is likely to be happy there.

We just want to get this right.  I suppose that the worst that could happen is that we get it wrong to start with and have to think of something else, but we don't want to prat him about so much that he doesn't trust us and winds up totally hating school.  Home school is not going to be an option for us - just getting him to do homework is stressful enough and I am no teacher!

This post is so long, and I still welcome any thoughts from parents and former students with autism out there... thanks!

Hello. I have been left with very mixed feelings about my son's education.  He struggled at the age of 7/8 too and was permanently excluded from his school.  Then we got him into a mainstream school with an autism resource attached (he has asperger's syndrome) where he was happy and did well, briefly coming to terms with his diagnosis.  But the resource at the high school he went to afterwards was a difficult experience for him. He attended mainstream for most of his classes where his mainstream peers were mainly friendly but children of all ages were winding him up at break and calling him a retard etc. He was still fighting and having tantrums until he was 14 or 15. He is very intelligent and is now at college but he hides his diagnosis from his peers and turns down all support because he feels so stigmatised.  I think if his primary/junior school had been more supportive and had not excluded him he might have been happier in mainstream but his behaviour was bizarre and sometimes aggressive so perhaps this would not have worked either and he still would have been unhappy. He says himself that he feels he is not very far on the spectrum and could have managed.  I am not at all sure this is right but he has been left feeling very stigmatised.  I am afraid this is not much help to you as we cant know if he would have coped at all without the support of the resources he went to, but his own view is that it did more harm than good.

My 7 year old left infant school in July. I looked at all the schools in the area and decided that a primary school rather than a junior school would be better for him.

He started there in September and settled really quick, if he needs to access lessons for younger children he can or even as a treat he can go and play in these classrooms. Having younger as well as older children around him has really helped and he plays with children from every year there from Reception to Year 6.

Hello Octsmum,

I sympathise with the difficult decisions you have to make, it's so important to get it right. Here's some website information about choosing schools:

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/education/primary-and-secondary-school/choosing-school-in-england-wales.aspx

I'd just reiterate what that article says about visiting schools, you'll have a much better idea of what you're comparing if you go and have a look around. Hopefully some of our other users will also be able offer their thoughts too.

Best wishes.

Sandra - mod