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Is school mentally wearing my 6 year old son out?

Caring Dad

hi, 

my son has Autism and is extremely hypersensitive. The hustle and bustle of a busy classroom and school can be a minefield for a child with his issues. He deals with it in such a brave way. He doesn't let it stop him facing these challenges with a smile on his face.

but here we come to an issue I have noticed lately.

My son is usually reasonably responsive when you try to communicate with him. But after school lately he just seems mentally lethargic. He just seems out of the room, almost on autopilot. Obviously he can go into a world of his own, as many of our dear sons and daughters can with autism but this seems different. 

He took two hours to 'get over' school last night, he sat there looking at his iPad not wanting to get up and play as he usually would. when we asked him if he was ok or did he want something to eat he just sat there saying nothing. We had to repeat ourselves several times until he realised we were speaking.

I suppose my question is, does anyone think a school day may be becoming too much for him mentally and physically? 

Maybe with all the sensory stressors that a school day brings him is getting a little too much with him?

thanks for reading.

  • hi, mum772.

    I think school is really draining my son mentally at the moment. To the point of catching every bug and virus going! In fact he's ill again today. I can't help thinking with all the mental stress and anxiety a normal day brings him,contributes to this?  It's so frustrating to have to send him there knowing it's taking its toll on the poor lad. It's a catch 22 situation. 

    We have seriously considered home schooling but he has made great improvements socially over the year and a bit he's been there. Academically he is very advanced over his peers, so home schooling isn't a huge issue for us, it's just how to replicate that social improvement that school has brought. We we have meetings coming up and this will be the main topic I want to discuss, I'm hoping a maybe they will allow him to decrease his school hours for a period to see if this helps. Not sure if that's even within the rules. Here's hoping.

    thanks for posting.

  • hi blessed, 

    thanks for your reply. 

    After reading the 'autistic world' part it struck a light switch on. (I thank you for that!) He is very much like that. Once he settles back down within his comfort zone he becomes our Tyler again.

    It's so frustrating. He also seems to get ill so much, and I cannot help but think is this down to his body going through an emotional roller coaster everyday?

    Thank you again for your reply.

  • So pleased you had a great christmas.  What a delight for you all.

    Now my son is 16, the school are focussing on relating everything he has learned to real life.  So they cook, take the bus, go shopping, swim, garden etc.  There's no sitting down and studying, all vocational learning and I have noticed a huge difference in his anxiety levels.  He is working towards life skills qualifications in classes of 9, one teacher and 2 assistants.  

    The best thing we ever did however was buy a dog, our cavapoo called Charlie is his best friend in every conceivable way.  Smile

  • I am there with you completely,i think youve posted on one of my other posts annd it has to be said that children on the spectrum or with apsbergers can complete a school day perfectly and then spend the rest of the night at home kicking off,i know this ive spoken to a pychologist about it and actually have saw it for myself.

    There are a lot of triggers in the school day for our children,they know they have to cope.

    But as soon as they get out those gates thats it!

    My son finds it incredibley hard to explain whats happened through the day thats upset him.

    We has a lovely christmas holiday,we diddnt visit any shops either,so with both those out the equasion he done really well,but unfortunately you cannot do without school or shops.

    If i could afford i would home educate him,but i cant affford it.

  • Hi

    We have wonderful 16 year old autistic son and have been through many twists and turns over the years.  I completely empathise with your concerns and your son's reactions to his day.  The same thing happened with our son when he was in main stream primary school.  It was explained to me that our son's most natural and therefore most relaxing world was in his autistic world.  At school, he is being gently dragged out of that all the time and it is exhausting.  It was suggested that we allowed him the time at home to 'relax' back into his most comfortable world in order to recover from a very intense day.  We allowed his bedroom to provide him with that space and it has been a wonderful retreat for him over the years.  

    As puberty takes hold, anxiety can increase enormously.  Therefore to have learned that there is a place within which he can relax and recover is essential.  For secondary school, our son then went to a special school where the lighting is specifically designed to help, the classes are small and quiet, there are chill out and sensory rooms for relaxation and many other strategies to help children relax and therefore open the doors to learning.  Our son doesn't come home so exhausted and a little bit of down time is all that is needed.

    Escapism is good for us all Smile.  Hope that helps.