son 25 may be on spectrum

My 25 year old son was diagnosed with Crohn's disease when he was 18. This lead him to have a severe depressive episode. The mental health team eventually said that they thought he may have mild autism. He refused a diagnosis and got quite annoyed about it, so it was taken no futher. His new GP also thinks he may have it although his old GP was not convinced. Anyway he's just finished his university degree with a basic pass and can't get a job yet. He can't claim jobseekers as he saved up all the allowances he had when he was ill and has over the savings limit. He doesn't get any allowances now. He still blames my husband and I for him getting the Crohns disease, which is thankfully in remission and will not discuss ASD. On top of everything my husband has just been diagnosed with heart failure. I lost my mother with heart failure this year so this was an added blow for everyone. My son could put his savings towards my mother's bungalow which is now owned by my sister and I. If we helped him to own the property he could then probably claim jobseekers. But he prefers to live with us. We don't mind supporting him but we are now on pensions. I think if he could get a job things would look up, but they are difficult at the moment. I just wondered if anyone had any suggestions. Thanks.

Parents
  • Thank you. That's very helpful. My son is indeed a very determined person. He would be a very dedicated employee if he got a job. I love him very much but I wish he would not blame me for his health problems. He is able to tolerate most foods. We all try to eat a healthy diet, except my son does like to eat the same things a lot. He used to have supplements but the GP has recently stopped them as the dietitian said he didn't need them anymore. We all exercise regularly and lead quite a healthy lifestyle. My son didn't even tell the university about his Crohns and will not discuss it. He hasn't told the jobcentre and they have said that he could do 90 minutes travelling a day which I'm sure would be too much as the stress could lead to a flare up. I'm sure that he thinks a diagnosis of anything else would be another label he doesn't want, although I feel that it might lead to more help for us all. Though I don't know if there is much help and support for adults on the spectrum.

Reply
  • Thank you. That's very helpful. My son is indeed a very determined person. He would be a very dedicated employee if he got a job. I love him very much but I wish he would not blame me for his health problems. He is able to tolerate most foods. We all try to eat a healthy diet, except my son does like to eat the same things a lot. He used to have supplements but the GP has recently stopped them as the dietitian said he didn't need them anymore. We all exercise regularly and lead quite a healthy lifestyle. My son didn't even tell the university about his Crohns and will not discuss it. He hasn't told the jobcentre and they have said that he could do 90 minutes travelling a day which I'm sure would be too much as the stress could lead to a flare up. I'm sure that he thinks a diagnosis of anything else would be another label he doesn't want, although I feel that it might lead to more help for us all. Though I don't know if there is much help and support for adults on the spectrum.

Children
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